Apparently Cal had balls of steel, thinking he could play games with a celebrity…except maybe he was being real and not doing that?
Instead of opening a bottle of vodka and ruining my skin and feeling bloated and sick, I went to town decorating the tree at my place. Then I’d called Frank in the middle of the night to take me to Jamie’s. He’d had her tree delivered and I went about trimming it all through the night, Frank side-eyeing me until I assume he called my mom for a referral. I didn’t give in, and worked tirelessly to make this homecoming perfect for Jamie, Ford, and baby Laurel.
“Hopefully Laurel will have many more trees like this over the years,” I told Jamie now. “Like our playroom.” I whispered the last part.
“She will, and you’ll be over, decorating with us. Look at what you did here…” Jamie grabbed me and pulled me in for a hug before heading straight to Ford and tucking herself into his side.
With the baby bucket at her feet, I hated being the third wheel. Pushing my hair behind my ear—a nervous tic I’d had since I was a little girl—I walked toward the closet and grabbed my coat. Frank, always nearby, was there immediately to help me slip on my parka. Not the man I wanted, but he’d have to do. After all, my gay head of security was the most consistent man in my life.
“I’m ready,” I whispered to Frank, who picked up his phone and told our driver to begin warming the car. Sliding my hat and gloves on, I went and blew a kiss to my sleeping niece and hugged my brother and sister-in-law.
“See you tomorrow night for Chinese takeout?” Jamie eyed me while asking.
I’d forgotten they’d asked me over to finalize the details of the party. “I’ll let you know.”
“Hot date?” Jamie asked, all smiles.
“With my bathtub and my upcoming lines.” Seemed like I was being typecast as a jilted woman these days, and I didn’t mind as long as I continued to be cast. Except it was beginning to land a bit too close to home.
“I hear your director is an ass, and the producer even more so,” Ford said.
“Ha, ha,” I told my brother, who was the producer.
“We better win an award. I’m ready to retire,” he said.
“You are not.” Jamie fake pouted.
Their intimacy and sickening sweetness were shredding my already cut heart. “See you tomorrow. Maybe. Love you both,” I said and walked toward the door.
Frank held it open and walked next to me down to the car. “If he’s upsetting you this much, he’s not worth it, Bill.”
“Whatever, Frank. I can’t always get what I want. I should know that better than anyone. Look at my mom. I’ve been…we’ve all been…looking for her approval all our lives. Scotty is the only one who will get it. Why? Because he’s in politics.”
Frank didn’t respond. He knew when I was too tender and backed off. At least he didn’t sayI told you so…
Seated inside the SUV, I pulled my phone out of my jacket pocket and shoved off a glove. I had a message from Suzie about an upcoming magazine spread with a few looks suggested, and a note she’d forwarded from a dog breeder. He had puppies available soon and wanted to see if I was still interested. I had planned to surprise Laurel with a puppy, not that she would know what it was or meant.
I emailed Suzie to tell him I wanted one. In fact, I told her I would take two Labrador puppies. I needed someone to love me unconditionally, and I was convinced a dog was my only choice.
Callum
Yanking off my scrubs, I put my street clothes back on, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath before staring into the small mirror. “You’re an idiot,” I whispered to myself, slamming my palm into the sink in front of me.
Billy had asked me to come over, and I’d declined like the fucking dumbass I was. I was on call the day after, and I knew things could get hectic and I would inevitably be asked to come in. Babies loved to come around the holidays, and our practice being high-risk, we tried to make sure the moms had one-on-one attention. If the schedule was about to change and one of my patients went into labor, they reached out to me first.
Which was exactly what happened…and after twenty-two hours, Mrs. Smith had a beautiful baby boy who they named Richard Callum Smith. I didn’t have a chance to mope while working, but now I was doing it in double time.
I said, “Fuck it” to no one, and left the hospital. Once in my car, I drove to her place without asking or checking or whatever the fuck you did when you were falling for a Hollywood star who was out of reach.
In the lobby, I begged the doorman to remember me from months ago. He shook his head and picked up the phone, presumably to call Frank, who appeared within moments, looking irritated as fuck, as the thirty-somethings say.
“What are you doing here?” That was his greeting, a scowl permanently on his face.
“I want to see Billy.” I spoke quietly, not wanting to create a scene.
“She didn’t invite you over.”
Of course he knew that. She’d never be able to invite me over without his knowledge.
