In real time, a famous choir began to sing “Amazing Grace” and I could feel Ford’s eyes back on me. My forehead burned up, and if I didn’t know better, I’d think I had a fever. Trying my best not to look his way, I finally relented. Not only did I find him staring directly at me, but Billy was looking too. Except while Ford appeared perplexed and concerned, Billy smiled. It wasn’t the fake smile she gave on the red carpet. It was the same broad smile I remembered her having a long time ago. Sliding my glasses up a smidge, I wanted to make sure I was seeing correctly. With absolutely no clue how to respond, I half smiled and turned back toward the front.
Nerves bubbled up inside me until the moment the service ended, and then they reached an all-time high. What did I do when the service was over? I panicked and voted on hightailing it out of there. Not paying attention to my black dress twisting to the side and riding up, getting stuck on my curves, as soon as the room quieted I quickly walked down the aisle and toward the back door of the antiquated building, picking up speed on the other side. My heart banging against my chest wall, I ran around the side of the building and leaned against the cool wall, grateful for not bringing a coat. I was burning up, emotions rolling in my middle-aged belly. I should know what to do—move on, forget the guy, and go back to my life—but I was stuck in the past when it came to Ford Conway.
Tilting my head up to the sky, I closed my eyes and wished I could erase plowing into him a little over a week ago. It would forever be known as the day I got knocked back into the past. Reaching up, I pulled the ridiculous black fascinator-type mini hat out of my sleek auburn hair and shoved it under my arm. Snagging my phone out of my purse, I called a rideshare. I hadn’t wanted to deal with parking, so I’d come into DC in a car service, courtesy of the hospital. Now I just wanted to get the hell out of there.
With my eyes squeezed shut, I counted to one hundred before my phone pinged with a message the rideshare was arriving. When I was safely seated in the back, heading back to my cocoon, my phone pinged again.
I didn’t know you were coming. Thank you. I looked for you after.
There wasn’t an appropriate response to a text like that from Ford. Was I supposed to admit I’d fallen for this man all over again in a week’s time? Or how his feelings had faded for me like the cherry blossoms falling to the ground?
I had wanted to tell him I believed it when he said we had the second half of our lives. Yet I knew better than to admit any of that, so I hit Do Not Disturb on his contact and shoved my phone away.
Ford
“Ican’t believe I’m saying this, but I should have pushed for you to beSuper Lady,” I told Billy when she popped over on a Thursday night.
I was nursing a headache and a few fingers of scotch on my patio after four days of dealing with Bella Dash. My director cast her asSuper Ladywhile I was sitting in the funeral. He didn’t know she had ulterior motives to get in my pants, but she’d made that perfectly clear this week when we appeared in a celebrity magazine.
The team was going through a series of rewrites, and while I was still reading incoming scripts for upcoming projects, I liked to be on hand during production. But I was reconsidering.
“Why? She’s terrible in bed? Looks like you two are cozy from what I see.” Billy flopped into the lounge chair next to me.
I rolled my eyes. “You can’t believe everything you see. You know that. Who were you connected with last month? Oh, that’s right, you were busy breaking up the home of your last costar.”
She laughed. One thing about Billy was she was not a home-wrecker. Not with how we grew up searching for a better family.
“I don’t know what she is, other than a handsy, money grabbing…I don’t even know what to call her.Girl.Christ, I’m close to twenty years older than her. And that fucking picture with her hanging around my neck. Please…and that caption. ‘She’s dating the man in charge of making her a star.’ First off, she’s already a star, although guaranteed to be a bigger one after the movie. I hired her because she has a following already. Second, we’re not dating. I don’t know why she touches me like that.” Finishing my monologue, I slung back my scotch and felt the burn, hoping it took away the real reason for my aching chest.
“Hmm, maybe you should date girls your own age? Make a splash so the young girls know you’re spoken for. This isn’t the first time…” Billy eyed me from her seat.
“Not taking the bait,” I told her, closing my eyes and leaning back in the chair.
I heard her get up and open the screen door to the house, leaving it open while she uncorked a bottle of wine at the wet bar to the right of the door before returning.
“It’s nice back here at this time of day. Sun setting, the pool all lit.”
I still didn’t open my eyes, my scotch in my hand doing little to squelch my anger. I knew what it looked like. I’d bought the damn house for this yard—private, surrounded with bougainvillea, an outdoor kitchen and a pool with a waterfall. It was meant to be my personal place of debauchery. Mostly, it was lonely.
“Why are you here? To make small talk? To discuss real estate?” I finally looked at my baby sister.
“You’ve been miserable since you came back. Grumpy, sex deprived, I don’t know what… It’s been almost a month.”
“I was miserable back home too. Mom creates her own special brand of miserableness when it comes to me.”
“Not the whole time.” She eyed me across the top of her oversized wineglass. “You seemed to have some not so miserable times at home.”
“That glass is for red.”
“I like it for my white. I get a bigger pour, but don’t change the subject. You have this ginormous house, and it’s empty. You work and take pretend dates to parties. Isn’t it time for you to be happy? To stop putting everyone before yourself? Scott has a life. He’s not your little charge anymore. Mom is never going to be happy. And I’m good. You know I’m good. Made peace with my career and all that.”
I couldn’t respond. I knew she was right but making myself happy wasn’t in my nature. I stood and went inside to refill my drink.
“Willa, listen,” I said after gathering my thoughts and walking back outside. “I’m not made for that kind of life. A partnership. I had no role models when it came to that. Dad did what he was meant to do, and Mom ruled her kingdom. They never made a decision together or put our needs first. They never even hugged or kissed. It was a marriage of convenience. You know that now, don’t you?” Seated back in my chair, I leaned my head back, thinking I’d rather deal with Bella than this. This being Billy.
“Ford, you listen to me. I know more than you think. I know Jamie Silver was the closest thing you ever had to real. Your whole goddamn life, she was your closest friend. I don’t know what you did in the past, but you’re mucking it up now. You had a second chance.”
“James deserves better than me, and what are you going on about anyway? You didn’t seem so hell-bent when we were staying in the rental apartment on top of one another. Now you’re crowding me and my decisions.”
