This earned me a laugh and a wink. “We may not be the Big Apple, but we’ve got everything you need right here in sleepy little Vermont.”
As Ben pulled up a menu on his phone, I wondered why I’d been such a loser and hadn’t given him a chance back then.
Then I remembered. I’d been a snobby bitch, for lack of a better word.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered as he handed me the phone with the menu.
“For what? Doubting we have good Chinese here?”
I swallowed, feeling a lump of regret the size of a peach pit slide down my throat, and decided to put myself out there. “I’m sorry for how I acted back at Pressman. We keep circling around it—the past, what happened, how sorry I am, how you did the best you could. Honestly, Ben, you have nothing to be sorry about or to regret. You came there with the best of intentions, and most people treated you crappy. Maybe me the most.”
He frowned at me. “Don’t say that. You were nice to me ... in private.”
“Just don’t. Please don’t make excuses. Shoot,” I said, picking at a loose cuticle.
Damn. I’m going to make a mess of my home manicure, but it’s too late to worry about that.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into me.” I waved at my cracked, faded countertop. “You’re starving, and we’re stuck in this tiny excuse of a kitchen. Maybe it’s talking about Chinese food, reminding me of when we used to order, and you never joined in.”
I’d just had this memory the other day, but I didn’t mention it.
“Or maybe it’s just the day I’ve had. My mom, she’s a piece of work. She taught me to always be this nice person, but that only applied to people in my same social bracket. Everyone else got a fake smile. I tried to be somewhere in the middle with you, but I couldn’t make it happen outside of our dorm rooms or the library.”
“You tried,” he said, rushing to my defense again.
“No, I didn’t try hard enough. And for that, I’m sorry.”
“You know what? I wasn’t always easy back then either. My home life, my lack of what everyone else had, was like a nasty chip I carried on my shoulder. But I don’t want to keep circling on the issue either. Let’s put an end to this. I’m an adult now, all grown up with my own money and career, and you’re doing your thing, making your way in the world. Let’s eat takeout as the people we are now, and leave those two in our past.”
My shoulders dropped. “Okay.” I didn’t know how Ben did it, but he seemed to render me speechless often.
“Go on,” he said, pointing to his phone in my hand. “See what you might like.”
Swiping at his screen, I scanned the menu. “Oh, this place is even better. More Thai than Chinese. It’s Thai, you knew that, right? Pho house ... mmm, looks delicious. I love pad Thai.”
Ben grinned. “We’re very advanced here. I usually get the fried rice, so I think of it as Chinese takeout. Fried rice is my weakness. You need to try it. Give me the phone, and I’ll call.” He took the phone back, saying he also loved the ginger chicken. “Should we get a few things and share?”
“Great.”
And just like that, it was so easy. Ben ordered the food, told them he’d be there in twenty minutes, and ordered me to relax with a glass of wine before he was out the door.
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“Yep. The owner is a patient of mine, and I like to say hi. I’ll have wine when I get back. It’s a bit of a drive from here, but I need to support them.”
As I poured myself a cheap glass of vino, I couldn’t help but wonder,Is this a date?It was my second night eating with Ben, which was more than I’d done with a man since fleeing New York.
Shit. I swore silently, another transgression my mom would lecture me about.
I could hear her now.Ladies don’t swear. Especially those in the public eye.
Good thing I’m not in the public eye anymore.
Although, if she had her way, I’d be back before I knew it. I needed something to hold me here more firmly. My mom would have no problem steamrolling into the Bean and berating Zara—with a smile on her face—and have her begging for me to pack up and leave.
Double shit. I needed to call Hunnie. If she hired me, I could tell my mom it was an actual job. She didn’t have to know it was an internship.
Finding my phone tucked into the side of the couch where I’d been planted since Ben left, I looked up where I noted Hunnie’s number and dialed.
