“I’ve wanted to do that since prom night,” I said low, “but I’m pretty certain I didn’t have a chance before I started barfing, let alone after.”
“Ben, please. Not now.” She stole the hanger from me and stepped back. Rubbing the moisture off her hand on her shorts, she tried to walk away, but I reached out for her arm to keep her close.
Despite her best efforts to twist out of my grasp, I held tight. “Dinner?”
She nodded, and I let her go. I wasn’t really holding her against her will. The keys fell from her hand and she bent to get them, her ass in the air. I swallowed as I took a quick peek, and then bent down to snag the keys for her.
Handing them over, I said, “One sec.”
She could tell me over dinner how she went from riches to rags, but right now I wanted to get Murphy inside and dry. And that wasn’t the doctor in me wanting to take care of her.
When it came to Murphy Landon, I turned into a raging caveman.
6
Murphy
“What in the actual freakity-freak is happening?” I asked myself, risking a quick peek in front of me.
Yep, Ben was walking toward his late-model Jeep, clearly decked out with all the state-of-the-art bells and whistles, while I stood next to my very used Toyota. My car was on its last breath, and without a second job, I couldn’t afford anything else. Not to mention this was the second time I’d locked my keys inside it.
If I hadn’t been so desperate for help on my journey here to Vermont, I would have been worried about Ralph-the-trucker raping or kidnapping me. Luckily, he turned out to be a good guy with a wife and kids at home, and had driven for the last ten years for King Arthur Flour. He’d seen me pacing next to my car like Ben had and asked if he could help. Showing me a picture of his kids, he swore he was a good guy. After demonstrating how to open the door with a hanger, he gave me his number in case I needed somewhere to go for Christmas.
“Shit,” I muttered to myself as Ben approached me again, shaking his head, presumably at my self-chatter.
He’d kissed me. On a wet Vermont road. Something I never thought I’d do, but strangely wanted to do a lot more of.
Watching Ben really take in the run-down house in front of him, I could have lied to myself and said he was checking for storms, but he wasn’t. My place left a lot to be desired. A long time ago, it must have been nicer, but now it was home to some nursing students who didn’t earn much, a sanitation worker and his girlfriend who lived above me, a truck driver for a local meat company, and me. It was just an old duplex chopped up into small rental units, but it was comfortable and cozy ... and cheap.
Ben had snagged a backpack from the back of his Jeep and joined me. “I’ll change at your place, if that’s okay?”
I nodded. “Prepared for overnights, I see?” My comment came out a bit snarky, but he just shrugged.
“Always. My cases tend to run long, or I get stuck with an emergency. This way, I can be ready to do anything at a moment’s notice.”
I nodded again as we walked toward my entrance in the back. Unlocking the dead bolt, I couldn’t help but see my place through Ben’s eyes, and wondered if this was how he’d felt in high school. Did he feel uncomfortable seeing us looking at his life with pity?
He scanned the dated kitchen with its nicked cabinets, a dishwasher so old it was easier to wash my dishes by hand, and a faded lime-green Formica countertop. The ratty brown couch I’d found in a secondhand shop sat in the living area across from the open kitchen, along with a television set on an old nightstand from the same secondhand store, sitting catty-corner across from it. At least my one houseplant wasn’t dead. It thrived in a way I wished I could.
“Why don’t I wait for you to get dried off in the bathroom?” Ben said, still taking in my place, which made me feel naked and exposed.
“And cleaned off.” I held my greasy palm in the air as evidence.
“That too. Go, I’ll wait.”
“Sure, thanks. I can leave a dry towel for you when I’m done. Okay?”
The conversation had me off-kilter. Shame burning through my veins, I escaped to the bathroom, where I stripped off my clothes and splashed warm water on my face, then quickly dried off and wrapped a towel around myself.
Taking deep breaths, I stared at myself in the mirror.I shouldn’t be ashamed. This place may not be much... and then the door opened and I whipped around as I spoke the last thought aloud. “This is all me.”
Ben stood there, confusion all over his face, as if he were the one surprised inside the bathroom rather than the one barging in.
“Really? You don’t knock?” I gripped the towel a bit tighter.
He stood on the threshold, one palm clamped over his forehead. “I couldn’t wait. I’m sorry. Truly. I realized I was out there judging you, and I don’t know where that comes from. That’s not me. It never was, and I don’t want it to be.”
My eyes watered, and I sniffed back any self-loathing.
