I sat up next to him and took his hand in mine. “First, Seth isn’t a strange man. He’s my ex-husband, so you need to get good with that. Second, we have to talk about this at some point, because if we don’t, Piper will feel it, and she won’t like the strife. She’s a sensitive soul, wise beyond her years. She’ll internalize this, analyze it, and will come to nasty conclusions. And, may I remind you, I tried to discuss this at dinner.”
Tyler and Piper were at Seth’s for a movie night. Piper had arranged it, mostly to make Tyler happy. Mara and Aston Junior were at their mom’s with Denise. This was my new reality, as surreal as it felt, and I had to adjust to all the logistics.
In reality, Seth didn’t care whether the kids slept over, and Aston’s kids didn’t care about going with Cass, but we were doing what was right. Or at least what we believed to be right.
Aston turned his head toward me and his lips met my temple. Sliding his hand behind my rumpled hair, he pulled me close and kissed me.
“You can’t just ignore me,” I mumbled against his mouth.
“I know,” he said, looking into my eyes. “I’m reminding you that I’m the one. I don’t like Seth because he took my love away from me. It’s an ego thing.”
I scoffed. “You gave me away.”
“Okay, okay. But he also had my daughter for thirteen years when I didn’t, and I don’t like that. You have to understand, Bex.”
My lips fused to his forehead, where I gave him a long kiss full of promise for years to come. In typical fashion, I comforted Aston. It was a role I couldn’t seem to shake, no matter how independent a woman I became.
“Look,” I said, “I’m trying to do right by him. He’s not been the best recently, but he was mostly there, and had a lot to accept when it came to Piper. Somewhere inside him, he’s a good guy, but he lost some of that along the way. Maybe because of me, I don’t know, but I have to be sensitive to it.”
Aston’s mouth turned up into a half smirk, half smile, and he took my cheek in his palm. “Didn’t we have such a great night? Dinner, un-fucking-real sex, and I get to sleep over. Let’s not ruin it.”
He tried to kiss me, but I pulled back.
“No, it doesn’t work that way, Aston. You can’t sweet-talk your way out of the hard discussions. Especially now, with all these kids. Who, by the way, you think are going to be just fine. Yes, dinner was amazing. I love DeGiorgio’s. The wine, the homemade pasta, and the sex, all of it was decadent, but we need to talk about this. You need to bury your feelings when it comes to Seth. Piper needs to know you support him, because he’s not going anywhere. He’s Tyler’s biological father. He raised Piper until now, and he took care of me.”
“And now I take care of you. You get that, right?”
“Aston! Come on, get with me here. Say you understand what I mean. This is about your daughter.”
“If I do, can we have sex then?” Aston was smiling, and I knew he was joking, but I needed him to pay attention.
“Ouch!” He yelped when I pinched his arm.
“Say it,” I said. “We need to be clear on this. I need to be transparent, and you’re joking.”
“I hear you. I’ll be nice to Seth. I’m only joking because this fucking hurts. This cracks my chest in half, Bex. All this disappointment and destruction was because of me.”
“I get that, but when it comes to the kids, we have to put that all aside. Even if Seth’s not nice to you,” I said, needing to cover my bases.
“As long as he’s nice to you, I’ll be nice to him. I swear. Deal?”
“Deal.” Without waiting for him to ask again, I kissed him.
“I love you. Always have,” he murmured. “You know you’re going to get anything you want for the rest of my life,” he said, stalling the kiss.
“I don’t want much, and I don’t need a lot. You have to get that it’s not me. I understand why you needed the business, and keeping the life you were used to, but I wasn’t used to that.”
“It was foolish. I sacrificed my happiness for my mom’s ... I know this. All I’m left with is a shit show.”
The palm of his hand grazed my naked back. We were front to front, bared to the depths of our souls. It was the most honest moment we’d ever had.
“I’m sorry you felt you had to do that,” I said, running my hand through his rumpled hair. I loved that he left it a little longer. It showed his boyish side, but I had to remind myself that he was accused of a serious crime.
Addressing the elephant in our lives, I said, “Scratch that I don’t want much. I want you to be free of this. I feel like I’m loving you on borrowed time.”
“I didn’t do it,” he quickly said.
“I know you didn’t. In my heart, I believe you wouldn’t jeopardize something you’ve given your whole life for. Your happiness, your being, everything.”
