This was my weekend to drink, study those rags, and drink some more. Forty-eight hours to get my shit straight.
Settled in my garage, I lifted a newspaper, thumbing through the pages until my eyes blurred at the local section, my head going hazy, my hand trembling. I shut my eyes tight and reopened them, hoping and wishing what I’d just read was a figment of my imagination.
Nope, it was still there.
Police detain Federal Stars Hospitality Supplies’ CEO, Aston Prescott, overnight on drug trafficking charges. Rumors of additional allegations filtering in. His family is well known for providing the highest quality toiletries and custom amenities to all the five-star resorts on the West Coast, and has been known to donate thousands of extras to local shelters.
I refolded the paper into a neat stack and shoved it back in the pile, walked inside my house, and pretended like none of it mattered.
I wasn’t waiting for Aston Prescott anymore.
My phone buzzed early Saturday morning, drawing me out of my stupor. I’d fallen asleep in the damn window seat again, an empty wineglass discarded by my side, my hair in knots, and my heart and mind equally clouded.
Why do I even care about him anymore?
I slid my finger over theANSWER CALLbutton without looking at Caller ID. “Hello?” I croaked out, my throat dry and my eyes crusty.
“Bex, you okay?”
I leaned against the glass, the sun heating my back. “Hey, Milly.”
“You can’t keep avoiding me,” she said, coming right out with it. There was no chitchat when it came to Milly. She was a straight shooter, even before her husband helped her perfect the art.
“I need to get my head wrapped around this on my own. Please—”
“That’s bullshit. You know it, and I know it. You don’t want to talk to me because you know Mike’s talked to him. We made a deal a long time ago that what happens between him and Mike stays between them. But I love you, and you love me, no matter what.”
I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. “Say his name, for Christ’s sake. Say it!” When she didn’t utter a word, I yelled, “Aston. His name is Aston.”
“We haven’t said his name in almost fifteen years, Bex. I’m following your rules, not mine.”
“Forget it. What did Aston say to Mike? Is he okay?”
“I can’t tell you that, and you know it. They’re friends, and we’ve always kept that separate. I’m here foryou.”
On weak legs, I stood and made my way into the kitchen, looking for hot coffee, but I knew I wouldn’t find any. Seth always made sure we had coffee. Sadly, it was the one thing I missed about being married to him.
“This is why I’ve been avoiding you, Milly. Because I want to know abouthim. I’m desperate to know about him. I’d gobble up the tiniest of crumbs when it comes to Aston right now.”
I held the phone between my ear and my neck, scowling as I stuck the K-cup into the coffeemaker. I hated this kind of coffee. It was never hot or strong enough for me, but it was easy.
And made for singles. Loser lonelies.
“I’m your closest friend,” Milly said. “I want to talk about you. Not ... Aston. Bexley, I know you’re hurting, and I’m here for you.”
“Well, in this case, it’s impossible to only talk about me and not him. He was in jail, his face and name all over the news, and I can’t decide if he’s guilty or not.”
“It’s not for you to decide. You don’t have to care or even know if he’s guilty. You know that, right?”
“Milly, please. Don’t you think I know that? But he must be hurting, and for whatever fucked-up reason, I can’t seem to let go when it comes to him. Ugh, I need a tougher backbone, or maybe a steel cage around my heart. If I think Aston is hurting, you have no clue how much that hurts me.”
I turned and banged my forehead into the cabinet. “Damn, I wish I’d never met him. Why did I have to take that job at the club? I could’ve worked at Wendy’s and this never would’ve happened. What’s wrong with me? How can someone spend their whole life in love with someone who doesn’t even think they exist in his world? I mean, I’m nothing, the girl who made sandwiches at the club he belonged to. Not a woman. Not a person. Definitely not worthy of being his partner.”
“Bex, honey, that was his dad, not him. You existed in his world. But he had to make a choice, and he went with his gut. Or his mom, however you want to look at it. Did you hear me when I saidexisted? You existed for him, but your lives went separate ways. I know it’s always been him for you, but you really need to move on. Even with your secrets, which, by the way, are pretty obvious to anyone who knows you.”
Blowing out a breath, I said, “Existed. A long time ago, I know. Although he had a funny way of showing it. Now I don’t matter at all. You’re right. As for my secret, be quiet. I did what I did, and you know why and all that. I can’t rehash it.”
I poured some half-and-half into my shitty coffee and took a sip.
