Dear Mommy on Au Naturel Street,
I applaud your commitment to the environment, and yet I certainly appreciate your unhappiness with having to wash and dry five bazillion cloth diapers per week. Especially with your latest birth (at home) of twin boys.
Here’s the thing, though ... have you considered being done with having babies? Then you wouldn’t have to do any more of this washing/drying crap you keep blogging about. Yeah, it sounds brash, but you’ve been natural-mommy blogging for a long time. Perhaps it’s time to throw in the towel—or the cloth diaper.
I get your blog is your REAL baby, your full-time job, and provides a sizable side income to your husband’s bike-rental biz. But—and it’s a very BIG but—don’t you think having babies to support your blog is a bitridic?
There, I said it. It’s only a guess on my part, but in the name of sisterhood, I feel the need to put it out there. You’re a talented writer. You could support yourself with a different topic or focus.
I’m sure even your kindhearted husband would agree. He certainly didn’t look so happy in your latest fall picture montage with the whole gang jumping on the bed in matching plaid hemp pajamas.
PoorDaddy Au Naturelwants to drink his Scotch, light up a hard-earned cigar (when no one is looking), and get laid without procreating. Grant the man a wish, would ya?At the very least, give him a little tug and pull.Wink, wink.
And while you’re at it, let the man dress how he wants, trim or not trim his beard the way he wants, and stop posting poo pictures. I don’t want to see your kids’ poo or hear about your husband’s either.
Like I said, you’re a very talented woman,Mommy Au Naturel, so close your legs and dry up your breasts and write something meaty, something with wit and depth like I know you can.
Maybe a paleo blog? Seeing as you’re so earthy and trendy, especially after babies number five and six with the homemade baby food and cloth diapers.
Either that or all the nappy-wappy companies gave up on sending you free samples.
Put your brain to work and your womb to rest. Cook some healthy food and take some digital pictures. Share some recipes and delight in what you may find.
Affectionately yours,
The UnAffectionate Blogger
Disclaimer:Wuvables Brand Diapersis a proud sponsor of this website, but opinions expressed in the above post are 100% mine and were not influenced in any way by Wuvablesor any other sponsor of this site.
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Yes, ma’am, you guessed it, that’s me,The UnAffectionate Blogger.
They call me UAB for short. Not me personally, but that’s how they refer to my website ... they, being the readers of the web. I guess they mean me since I’m the only one who writes for UAB. Excepttheydon’t know that tiny tidbit. They think we’re a team of information deep-divers going after all the bullshit bloggers out there.
It’s usually in good fun, and for the most part, everyone gets a good laugh. I think.
Before you go jumping off the deep end, I know, I know...it feels like I’m not very nice, perhaps even a bit harsh, but this blog is how I support my daughter and myself. Don’t hate me—I know you want to, but for the sake of this story, try not to.
Single and desperate mom here. I don’t feel like getting into it right now, but something happened, and it still pains me to discuss it. I wasn’t born this way. It came on slowly, like a bad cold in the summer. It starts with a scratchy throat you blame on allergies, then itchy/watery eyes and random sneezes. A week later, you have a fever and try to push through, until the rash comes. See what I mean?
Bear with me and leave your Judgy McJudgy pants at the door.
I’m living the American dream—working at home in my yoga pants, my hair in a messy bun, while raising a kid on my own. I don’t have to shower and rush out the door every weekday, doing my makeup in the car, potentially causing a five-car pileup on the freeway. I care for my child, try to shower every day, and single-handedly fool millions of readers into thinking my thoughts matter.
Think of me as theTMZof bloggers. You probably live forTMZ, scouring its site daily, looking for any mention of your favorite celeb. Maybe they’re finally getting divorced and they’re going to want you?You never know.
Well, I uncover all the nastiness of the interwebs, and will call out bloggers on their bullshit or when they’re acting beyond ridiculous. I’ll have you know ... that’s most of the freaking time.
I should know. I used to be one of those nice little mommy bloggers, full of themselves and their free shit until the moment I don’t care to discuss.
Really, no one wanted to read about poor little me, the single mom happy to receive freebies in exchange for honest reviews or my lean, mean meals of bargain gross tuna and mac-n-cheese.
So I changed it up because theydowant to read my snarky and sarcastic sense of humor. And guess what? Companies pay primo bucks to advertise on my site, and I never have to accept products in exchange for compensation.
I get paid in cold hard cash.
Why? Because I write with heart and wit and soul.
