“Dad, listen…”
“Listen to me. I told you, I knew your mom was a wild one after she left. I heard plenty after she was gone. That’s not the way she was when I met her, but I guess…she was that way before me…and didn’t like my quiet way of life. I feel bad you never met your grandparents. I’m sure they would’ve liked you. But your mama is gone. I don’t know where she is. No one does, except those two young’uns who think they’re on someAmerica’s Most Wantedshow.”
I didn’t know how to break it to him, so I blurted it out. “I think Mama had another family. After she left you, Pops, she didn’t get remarried, but she apparently moved on. Didn’t stick around long for that life either.”
“Oh, Aiken. Stop with all this. You’re dredging up shit you shouldn’t care about. Let it go. I told you. Go help your lady, and for God’s sake, let her have tonight for her pain. You don’t need to bring this shit up.”
He hung up on me. I didn’t even have a chance to explain or say goodbye. The line went dead, and that was that.
Putting the car in reverse, I stared at myself in the rearview. Maybe Pops was right? Maybe I should let it go?
How the heck should I know?
“I’m here with liquid gold,” I called out, walking into Claire’s place.
“In the front,” she called.
“Hey, whatcha doing?” She was still wrapped in her coat, staring at the tree, her hair long down her back, knee-length boots covering her legging-covered calves. Even from behind, she was a beauty.
She turned, face wet, nose red.
“Come here,” I told her, setting the drinks on the coffee table.
“We don’t have to do this,” I whispered while smoothing her hair down her back, her face dripping into my chest. “I don’t want to force you.”
“No, it’s time. Mary’s been after me for a while. At least a year.”
Her voice cracked and broke. I slid my finger under her chin and tilted her gaze toward mine.
“I’m going to be with you every moment. If you need to stop, we will.”
Her palm drifted down my arm. I wanted to say,Give me all your pain, but I didn’t.
I waited for her to step away. As I shrugged off my old barn jacket, she took off her own coat. She held out a shaky palm for me to take. I kept her hand tightly wound with mine, letting her know I wasn’t going to let go, mentally or physically. I considered the reality of completing that daunting task as she guided me up the stairs.
At the top, we veered to the left rather than the right toward her bedroom. Stopping on the threshold, she peeled off her boots, each one thudding against the floor, and tied her hair up.
“Claire, this doesn’t mean you’re forgetting her, but Abby wouldn’t want to be a ghost haunting your hallways. She’d want to be one happy memory after the other, the person responsible for putting a smile on your face, lightness not darkness.”
“I know.” She carefully put one foot in front of the other and entered her dead daughter’s room. I trailed behind her, feeling an ache in my chest at her sharp intake of breath. The bed was made. A Bruno Mars poster hung on the wall alongside an old G-rated calendar of the campus football team posing with puppies. Next to that was a full-length mirror on a stand. Stickers covered the perimeter, and long necklaces hung from the corner.
The room was a shrine to her dead daughter. I was in way over my head. No, way beyond that. I was lost in the woods without a clue how to get out—yet, I was the one who led us in here.
The bedspread was lilac, with dark purple flowers haphazardly stitched into the fabric.
“Is this an heirloom?” My voice sounded like I had a frog in my throat.
“Mary’s mom made it for Abby when she got this bed. It was a birthday present.”
“I imagine she loved it.”
“She did.”
“I forgot to bring some boxes up,” Claire stuttered, sitting at the desk.
“I’ll grab them.” I needed a quick minute, and so did she.
When I returned, Claire was smiling at an open book.
