“You’re not so much older than me, lady. And we all have fears. Mother, father, or not.”
She was trying to protest. I could see the arguments gathering behind her eyes, but I didn’t allow her to start. Instead, I kissed her. I leaned forward, and my mouth met hers. She tasted like red wine and fear. I dared myself to suck all the fear out of her.
I crept forward, landing in front of her on my knees, ours mouth nipping, sucking, touching.
My tongue wanted entrance—
I bit her bottom lip, and she opened, and my tongue entered, twisting with her tongue in a way I wanted all of me to do.
I’m not sure how long we stayed like that, but Claire ended up breaking the moment.
“Aiken, I need to stop.”
Reluctantly, I pulled away.
“My heart is beating so fast, I’m afraid it’s going to come out of my chest. We need to slow down.”
I nodded and slid back into my chair, keeping hold of her hand.
“Tell me, what do you see for yourself in the future? Ten years from now? Still living here? Teaching?” I asked while standing and cracking open another beer and refreshing her wine.
Her brow scrunched. “You mean still stuck in the memories? Look…” She leaned forward as if she were about to get up and run. “I know I’m pathetic, but this is me. I run, hang with my dog, visit Abby even though she doesn’t know I’m there, and I teach. I guess that’s what I see for myself ten years from now. Fifteen too. Forever, if I’m being honest.”
Moving to the edge of her lounger, I lifted her feet into my lap. “I didn’t mean to upset you. That’s not why I asked. I look at you and see this unbelievable woman. Strong and resilient. Beautiful. Most women wouldn’t even be running and teaching and visiting their daughter like you do. But I want you to want even more for yourself.”
“I guess there’s never been closure. For David, there was. Abby’s dead to him…the reason or the why or the who doesn’t matter to him. Not so much for me. I want to know who and why. To me, this is an open case.”
My fingers tangled with her hair. “I want you to have that too, but it may not happen. We can’t control everything. I’d like to find my mom, or find out what happened to her, but I guess there needs to be a shelf life on how long I’ll look.”
“I know.” It was a whisper.
“There’s nothing wrong with having a life, even if you don’t have answers. Abby would want that.”
She nodded. “Abby was a good girl. Happy, bubbly, always singsonging around. She didn’t deserve so much shit. David leaving, my working a lot. At least she died doing something she’d been dying to do. That concert…it’s all they talked about for months. Their seats, what they’d wear, and whether we were really going to let them go by themselves. She was my life, even though I wanted a few hours to myself that night.”
“None of it was your fault.”
“I know that. In the beginning, I’d wished that I’d taken them to that damn concert and died alongside them.”
I moved up the chair and pulled her into my arms, her hair spread over my shirt—black and white, the way she wanted to look at life.
“I can imagine. When I was little, I’d wish my mom took me with her. I was always afraid to tell my dad, because then he would have lost me too. I’d open my window at night and look at the stars and wish for her to come get me. Like this.” I pointed to the darkened sky.
“Beautiful.”
“Not as beautiful as you, Claire.”
“Kiss me?” she asked, her words husky and her chest pounding near mine.
My mouth found hers, and she responded with an urgency I secretly savored. A breath escaped each of us, and our tongues discovered one another. My hand wound its way up her side, my thumb grazing the side of her breast—she was all woman, and I wanted every inch to be mine.
“I want to make you happy,” I mumbled. “I’ve never felt that way about anyone, and, honestly, I didn’t think I ever would. From the moment I saw you, I wanted to know you better. There was a spark in your eyes that made me feel like it was just for me.”
She looked up at me, her lips plump, eyes wet.
“This is like a teeny-bop movie or something, except I’m an adult.”
My fingers snaked around and pinched her ass. “And I’m an adult too.”
