Somehow I continued to feel enormous guilt related to that day, which was practically ancient history by now. I should have forgotten all about it, but it haunted me.
She was nothing. Yet she’d become somewhat epic in my mind over the last few years.
Had she been the one chance for me to redeem myself? Was that why she’d literally fallen at my feet? Rather than taking the chance to explore why she picked me, I’d run—sprinting away from anyone who even remotely reeked of needing someone else.
It was one of my biggest regrets—messing with Jake’s sleeping arrangements rather than helping Bess—which only served to underscore how totally fucked up my priorities were. It was yet another example of bad judgment calls on my part that added to the well-hidden list buried deep in the recesses of my mind.
I didn’t know what I would have done had I followed my instincts, but the girl clearly needed help. Unfortunately I was more preoccupied with my silly sibling rivalry, and sick of being Mr. Nice Guy to my brother. It was high-fucking-time Jake learned a lesson, that his behavior had consequences. Lord knows, he’d gotten away with murder over the years.
Although I’d spent months—years—obsessing over leaving a young girl who was crying out for help, the last thing I wanted in my life was a needy chick. I already had a long list of those types in my life, namely Jake, Jake, and Jake. Thanks to my brother, neediness was a major red flag for me.
At least I had waited for the ambulance to arrive before bolting. And as I’d hoped, Jake didn’t get to screw Lexie that night after she caught on to his little ruse. In fact, she’d come to fuck me, and while I didn’t think I would have enjoyed it, I did in some sick, twisted way. I’d come hard as she pulled on my hair, yellingmyname and screaming in delight.
On paper, I might have been the good brother, but that didn’t mean I was a saint. I knew my way around the curves and slopes of a woman’s body the way a NASCAR driver knows their way around a track. It was the only trait we had in common. Jake and I both liked women, and we knew how to pleasure them.
But after a few days of Lexie lingering beyond her welcome, I grew bored with her dumb smile and barren brain. The offer to merge my company with one based in Florida came at the right time. I accepted it immediately, and never looked back on my days in Pittsburgh.
Except for thoughts ofher. Bess.
Arriving at the Sunflower Suite, I slammed the hotel door shut behind me with my foot, kicked off my shoes in the corner, then stalked toward the bed, hoping this little Northeast jaunt came and went quickly.
