“Wow,” was all he said. His finger traced around the outline, then moved to the teardrops, circling them while his brow furrowed.
I brought my hand up to cover it. I’d forgotten it was there for the first time in ... ever. It struck me how long it had been since I’d bared my body or my true self to anyone. Sadly, I couldn’t remember the last time I did. I was probably drunk or stoned or high or all three. Yeah, I’d been naked with AJ, but he didn’t count. The lines were so blurred with him; he’d been my friend first, a shoulder to lean on during the worst of times, and then he took advantage of that.
“I don’t normally uncover it, which is one advantage to not living in Florida where it’s hot all the time,” I said.
“What is it? What does it mean?” he asked while continuing to trace the outline of the eye with his fingertip. I could see his brain churning, his eyes scanning the design over and over like the cars circling South Beach earlier. With a quick glance up at me, he asked, “Why is she crying?”
Standing there on the beach, I looked anywhere but straight at him. “She’s crying because she’s me,” I said as I watched my pretty pink-tipped toes sift between granules of sand. “I guess you could say I’ve always been a lonely soul. At least, since I was a little girl and my mom walked out on me. I couldn’t shed real tears myself, so I had this put on my arm as a permanent reminder of the ones I held in when I stood in the doorway watching her walk away from me.”
Lane grasped my hands and twined his large fingers around my smaller ones, bringing us face-to-face.
I whispered, “Now it’s just a reminder of how stupid I was to put it there.”
“You know what?” he whispered in my ear.
I shook my head.
Leaning closer again, he spoke into my ear, making sure it was just for me and me alone to hear. “I think it’s a reminder for anyone who cares for you to make it extra good for you. All the time, extra good. In bed, out to dinner or lunch, or just sitting and watching TV, everything in your life should be a little bit better than for everyone else because of what you went through.”
I couldn’t speak. I’d never heard such sweet words, let alone ones meant just for me, and they sent a tiny shiver over my body. I chalked it up to being cold, but it really had nothing to do with that.
When we turned away from the beach, holding hands as we walked slowly back toward the street, I asked, “So, what are your deep, dark secrets? I’m certainly spilling all of mine tonight.”
