Bess
Twisted in the covers, Brooks hot and heavy on top of the comforter, I was in the middle of a very graphic dream when the sound of my phone ringing dragged me back to reality. I swiped theCALLbutton without looking and murmured hello as I rubbed my eyes, then pushed up to lean against the headboard.
“Bess! Thank fucking God you answered. I was about to bang down your door.”
“AJ, hi,” was all I could muster, my voice sounding breathy and guilty. I felt like I’d been caught with my hand in the cookie jar.
“Hi, you okay? Where’ve you been? Was work okay? I tried to get a hold of you all day yesterday. I thought you mighta come over after your shift.”
As if I could do that...after the kiss.
I rubbed my hand over my face, then slid it down and gave Brooks a scratch on the head as I said, “Yeah, everything is fine. It was just a long day and I was exhausted. All I did was come home and collapse into my bed.”
“Well, Christ fucking almighty, I was worried. I’m outside. I’ve got your gift, and some coffee,” he said, and I could hear the snow crunching under his boots in the background.
“Oh. Well, one sec. Let me throw on a sweatshirt and I’ll be right there.”
I disconnected the call and grabbed a ratty old Pitt hoodie, throwing it on over my tank and my tattoo. After sliding into my boots, I opened the door and shoved my hands in the big front pocket of my sweatshirt as I stepped out onto the porch with Brooks in tow, my pajama pants billowing in the wind.
My dog abandoned me, running down the hill to a tree to relieve himself at the same time AJ pulled me into his arms and breathed in my scent deeply.
“I’m sorry, Bess. So sorry, I was hard on you. I pushed too much, too hard. I know. Can you forgive me?” His hand dug into my arm, locking me in his embrace as he continued to inhale me.
After wrestling loose a bit, I looked up and caught the fever in AJ’s eyes. They were searing with passion and need—for me. A shiver ran right through me. I’d never been so desired as now. And last night.
By two different men.
I swallowed my feelings and spoke. “It’s okay, AJ. I’m fine—we’re fine—but I just can’t go as fast as you. I need my space, and I need to work. It calms me.”
His scruff from the day before grazed my forehead, his nicotine smell tickling my nose as he pulled me close again. “Yeah, I get it, baby. Like I said, I pushed too hard.”
“And all those texts? You can’t do that, AJ,” I said into his broad chest.
He stepped back and stared me down. “I know.”
He turned back to the steps and went to his truck, grabbing two coffees off the hood before saying, “Forgive me?” while looking at me with puppy-dog eyes.
I nodded and wrapped my arms around myself, trying to stay warm. Done with his business, Brooks stood on the porch next to me, looking up at me with his own big brown eyes, trying to will me to feed him.
“Come on.” I opened the door and let AJ in, taking one of the coffees from him as we crossed the threshold. Brooks trotted in behind us, his tail wagging.
I took a long sip before putting some food in Brooks’s bowl. As my dog began to munch away, AJ sidled close again. I was leaning against the counter, drinking my coffee, and he came right up to me and caged me in while setting his cup down behind me. He ran his nose along mine and whispered, “Merry Christmas, Bess,” and then he kissed me. He kissed me hard, his lips closed, as if he was sealing us together.
It was such a déjà vu feeling, framed the same way I’d been the evening before against the locker room door. But this time I wasn’t falling or floating; this time I simply felt trapped.
Yanking myself back to reality, I took a deep breath or twenty. I was having trouble filling my lungs with oxygen.
“I’m sorry, AJ. I’m not myself. It must be the holidays and everything. I had to serve a lot of booze last night at dinner, and I guess it got to me.” There I went again, using my addiction as an excuse.
Actually, a blue-eyed, dark-haired guy got to me.
“Oh shit. I should’ve figured or asked.” AJ cradled his head in his palms, looking up at the ceiling as he murmured, “Shit, shit, shit.” Then he turned to face me and said, “We should get you a new sponsor. I’m too close to everything now.”
“No!” I yelled. I didn’t want anyone else in my life. I had enough issues, and had no desire to get close with another stranger.
“Shh, calm down,” he said as he leaned in and kissed my cheek. “It’s gonna be okay, sugar baby.”
What was with the sugar?
