“That’s right,” he said, reaching over to smooth her hair out of her face. He looked at her with an adoration I wished I’d been on the receiving end of at least once in my lifetime.
Of course, Darla swatted his hand out of the way and shook her hair out, leaving it messy the way she liked it.
Come to think of it, thank God she liked messy, because her life was going to get all kinds of it.
Over pancakes and coffee and juice, Drew laughed with Darla and told her how glad he was she had this little trip.
Walking back to the car, he whispered to me, “Don’t try a stunt like this again. I’m not taking Darla from you. I want toshareour daughter. I mean it.”
Unable to meet his eyes, I stared forward. “Drew ...”
“Nod if you hear me, Jules, right now. We can talk later, but now let me know you understand me.”
I didn’t know if I understood, but I nodded.
Jules
“Why’d you do it?”
“Because of this.” I waved a hand to indicate the scenery. It was Sunday night, and we were settled back in our apartment after Sunday went just as Drew had orchestrated. Darla had played tennis earlier today like she’d wanted. Then she’d had her smoothie and bagel.
Her dream was coming true, and I was in a bad nightmare. There had been no other choice; Drew made it clear I needed to call Molly and take a break to talk with him.
“The beach? The ocean? The glass of wine in your hand?” Drew asked, his eyebrow lifted, his T-shirt blowing in the breeze. “You’ve got to give me a little more than waving your hand in front of you.”
I shut my eyes and inhaled the salty air. Or was that my tears?
Drew’s chair screeched as he scooted closer. He ran a finger under my eye and kissed the saltiness away, then took my drink and set it aside.
“Were you trying to hurt me? Punish me?”
The tears flowed more freely now. It didn’t matter how hard I closed my eyes, they poured out.
“I don’t know,” I choked out.
“Shhh.” Drew placed a small kiss on my forehead. He pulled me close, holding me by the back of the neck as he whispered in my ear. “You can tell me anything, Jules.”
“I don’t know if I wanted to punish you or me. Maybe both. It was so selfish.” I sobbed into his shirt.
“Stop,” he said, his own voice raw. “When I left, I thought it was for the best. I didn’t know about you or Darla. Now we do. It’s not fair to her or me if you run every time you get scared.”
I looked up, putting on my bravest face. “I’m not scared.”
“Like hell.” He stared me down. “Say it. You were scared.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I was scared once, and I ran away from the best thing that ever happened to me. But like I said, the stakes are higher this time.”
“Being with you, it’s so perfect. It feels so right.”
“Because it is right.” His lips touched mine for a chaste kiss. We sat knee to knee, facing each other in our deck chairs.
“It should’ve never been.” I wanted to refute everything he said, change his mind, argue until I was blue in the face.
“Take a drink.” He handed me my glass off the table. “Relax. It was and it is and it should’ve been, because we created a child.”
“A child I kept from you.”
