I focused my eyes on the floor, embarrassed by my own big mouth. Stupid girl, was I an idiot?
“That’s why I’m hoping the girls are being nice to you.” His voice lowered a bit, his tone turning confidential as he said, “I find it hard to be around you without crossing a line. I don’t know how much of this I can do; one on one, I mean. Since I sat in your mom’s kitchen, to be honest.”
This time, my gaze flicked up toward his. Did he just admit what I think he did?
“What I mean is, it’s frowned upon for a coach or teacher to care for a student in the way I’ve found myself thinking about ... coming to care for you. Shit.” He ran his hand along his forehead. “This is coming out all wrong. You just remind me so much of me. The passion. The concentration.”
I didn’t know why I did it.
It could have been because it had been so long since someone genuinely cared for me other than my mom.
It could have been because I was extra vulnerable, or needed to hear something complimentary so freaking bad.
Or maybe, just maybe, I was that fucking attracted to my coach.
I pushed up from my seat, walked toward him, and ran my shaky hand along his cheek. “I know what you mean. There’s a connection here. I can’t put my finger on it exactly, but when I’m near you, there’s something.”
“It’s not smart to discuss this, but hell, Jules ... I want to.”
I took a moment and stared into his eyes, seeing my reflection in his crystal-blue irises. His pupils dilated, signaling his hunger for me, and I was pretty sure mine widened as well.
For someone who felt like they’d left their ego back in California, I was surprised to find it had apparently flown back across the country.
His hand lifted and mirrored mine, running the length of my cheek and then dipping behind my neck. He tugged my hair from its messy bun and smoothed it down my back before his lips landed on mine.
“Fuck it, I can’t keep my head straight when it comes to you,” he murmured into my mouth.
It was gentle at first. His lips on mine, exploring and tender, then punishing. He devoured me, his tongue swiping inside my mouth. A moment later, or maybe it was hours, his lips turned gentle again as he kissed me with a closed mouth. His lips ghosted over mine, promising me more.
“I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me.” He tossed his glasses on the desk and they tumbled over the loose papers, clattering to a stop.
“Jules, I want you more than anything. All of you. Everything about you. More than any other woman I’ve ever wanted. It’s a force ... deep inside me.”
I stood there silent, taking in his every syllable, warmth spreading in my veins and heat circling my heart.
“I gotta check this need at the door, but I can’t shake it to save my fucking life.”
He dived back in full force, his kiss rough and bruising. His lips exploded along mine, taking, giving, and making love to me in a way I’d never experienced.
But then he tore away, leaving me panting and wide-eyed as he moved behind his desk, hiding, running his hand over his forehead and scraping through his hair. All this made him even hotter.
“Christ, I don’t know what overcame me. I’ve wanted to do that for a long time, held it at bay. I keep talking in circles. I want you, but I know I can’t have you. I thought I had it in check, but clearly, I didn’t. I don’t.” His head hung in defeat.
I moved toward him, making my way around the desk, but he backed away as I rounded the corner of it.
“Do you forgive me?” he asked. “If you want to report me ...” His eyes blazed heat, fear, and more heat. Want and passion dueled with his anxiety over wanting me.
“I wanted it, Coach ... King. I’m not going to report you.” I plopped on the edge of his desk and took in a deep breath before letting it out with a whoosh.
Like I reminded myself daily, I was in charge these days. Always. Forever in charge. I forbade myself to allow him to take control.
“Don’t ... don’t call me Coach. Doesn’t seem right after what just happened. Even though it can’t happen again.”
“Okay, King, have it your way.”
“Drew. Andrew, but mostly I’m Drew.”
I watched him swallow, his Adam’s apple moving up and down his throat.
