“She’s a lot like you when you used to wear that crazy bun.”
“That was ages ago.”
“I don’t think ...”
She sat up and her shirt fell open, exposing more of the creamy flesh I wanted to run my hands all over.
“What about the shower?”
She snagged her thong and pants and stuffed her lean legs through the holes. I’d never felt such panic as what was coursing through my body in that moment.
“At least a rain check on the shower?”
This got me a laugh. “Maybe,” she teased, her eyes sparkling in the dim light.
“Whew.” I stood and held my hand to my chest. “No joke, my chest hurt when you stood to leave.”
She cocked her head to the side and examined me, her lips set in a straight line. “Really?”
“Yes. It hurt.”
Closing the distance, I wrapped my arm around her middle and held her tight. Her oxford was still unbuttoned, and I buried my head in her chest. Not with sex on the brain, but because I needed to feel her heart beat.
“I didn’t mean for it to hurt. I just need to get back. This feels so decadent, like a vacation. If I don’t go now, I’ll never leave.”
With a small kiss above her cleavage, I said, “Would that be so bad?”
Silently, I snagged my shirt and vowed to myself that moment would come soon. The moment she never wanted to leave.
Jules
The next morning, I held my lips a little longer on the top of Darla’s head when we got to the school’s steps. With only a few hours of sleep and my emotions in overdrive, I ached for my daughter. I’d done wrong by her.
Wrong by Drew too.
Now it was my turn to make it right, and I couldn’t rush. No matter how hard Drew pushed.
“I have some good news.” I tugged on the ponytail Darla had begrudgingly allowed me to fix.
“Yeah.” Her smile was wide and energetic.
“I’m going to work lunch and pick you up afterward, then be with you all night!”
“But you don’t like working lunch, Mom.”
“For you, I do. Here’s a note for your teacher. You’re going to stay at the afterschool program until I can pick you up. It won’t be long.”
“Can we go to the park and hit tennis balls?”
“Of course.” I kissed her cheek and sent her on her bouncing way.
It was going to be a multiple-shots-of-espresso kind of day.
After school drop-off, I did a yoga tape, trying to center myself and my thoughts. It didn’t help much; my mind kept drifting to Drew every time I bent over in downward dog. Twisting, turning upside down, none of it helped ease the ache in my heart or slow the rollercoaster in my head.
I turned on the shower and undressed while waiting for the water to heat up. Standing in front of the full-length mirror on the back of the door, I tried to look at myself through Drew’s eyes. My legs were still lean and firm, mostly from working and the tiny bit of yoga I sneaked in. I had a small tummy pouch from Darla. Not huge, but my stomach wasn’t flat like it was years ago. My breasts were still smallish. Carrying trays kept my arms toned.
I guess it wasn’t so bad. He seemed not to notice anything different as he sank into me the night before.
