Her door is slightly ajar, and as I peer inside, a knot of tension tightens in my stomach. Zahkar stands over her crib, his tall figure casting a gentle shadow over her.
Roza gazes up at him, her big, bright eyes sparkling with delight as she clutches a bottle in her mouth. Her small legs kick playfully, and she stretches one tiny hand toward him, eager and trusting. The sight fills my eyes with tears. Guilt claws at my conscience.
“She was fussing,” he says, breaking the silence. “I made her a bottle.”
“Thank you.” I move further into the room to stand beside him, watching our child.
I never thought I’d ever get this moment.
“She looks like me.” Pain laces his words, and my insides flip.
“I know,” I say, swallowing past the lump in my throat.
“When you left it felt like the world stopped turning. Everything just stilled.”
Thud.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, my heart aching at the weight of my betrayal hanging between us.
He continues, ignoring my apology. “I thought I was standing still, but I wasn’t.” He closes his eyes briefly. “I was waiting. Waiting for you to return to me, to us. Waiting to be whole again.”
God, his words hurt so much.
“Yuri would never let us be together,” I remind him, hating that man with every ounce of my being.
He turns his eyes on me and I want to whimper and hide from the hurt and fire within them. “You should have given us the chance to deal with Yuri if he ever came. But you didn’t. Do you know how hard it was for me to allow myself to want to keep you? I chose to let you in, and you chose to leave me.”
Tears stream down my face, my soul fracturing all over again.
Cupping my cheeks, his thumbs swipe at the tears. “I would have given you everything and you returned my devotion with desertion.”
“I was scared,” I whimper, a truth I can offer him. “I’m still scared, Z. Not just for us, but for her.” I clutch his wrists. “Look what’s happened already. Jeremiah was murdered a few feet from her bedroom.”
Dropping his hands, he turns back to Roza’s crib, gripping the polished wooden rail and gazing down at her tiny belly rising and falling with each suckle of her bottle. “She’s our child, Alyona,” he says, his voice low and filled with conviction. “When a life is born into darkness, that darkness inevitably influences your path, shaping the very essence of who you become.” Turning back to me, he offers me the most gentle of smiles. “Like us, she'll learn to thrive within it, adapting and growing stronger.” The back of his hand strokes a path down my cheek. “The shadows may brush against her, but I promise, we will never allow anyone to harm her. You should know that.”
The only thing I know is as long as Yuri lives, she’ll never be safe.
“Is everything okay?” Rodion’s deep voice rumbles from behind us.
Wiping away my stray tears, I clear my throat and reach for my baby girl. “Roza needs a diaper change.”
“You shouldn’t lift her,” Rodion snaps, quickly coming over to take her from me. “You need to heal, Alyona.”
I stand there with my hands outstretched, my mouth slightly open in surprise. He cradles her as if he has done it a thousand times, and she rests her head on his shoulder, snuggling into his neck. Zahkar’s splayed palm goes to her back, gently rubbing, and I feel dizzy for an entirely different reason. Emotion chokes me up, and it’s so overwhelming that I have to turn away from them.
“The doctor left more antibiotics on the counter. You need to finish the course, and we need to change the dressing twicea day,” Rodion says behind me. “Now, where is Roza’s changing station?”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Zahkar
Since finding Rodion, I’ve never really given my own bloodline much thought. I was content with the life we’d built, and the family gifted to me when Andru adopted me. That changed when I stared down into Roza’s crib.
I saw myself staring back at me.
Unreal.
I never wanted kids, but an overwhelming sense of protectiveness and belonging filled my chest as she raised a hand toward me. She is mine,ours. And I will raise the oceans and bring down the skies on anyone who threatens to harm her.
