Alyona is rooted in place a few feet in front of us, her eyes bouncing between us and the crib. Her bottom lip trembles wildly.
“Where?” he demands, patience waning.
She jerks like he’s struck her and then says on a shaking breath, “With Jeremiah’s mom. She goes there once a month, and she’ll be home in a few hours, so we need to hurry up.”
All this hurrying because we’re cleaning up before her baby gets here?
Bile creeps up my throat. I don’t know what to make of any of this.
“You didn’t think it might be important to mention this earlier?” Rodion seethes through gritted teeth. “For fuck’s sake, Alyona!”
She’s twitchy, like she’s about to bolt at any second, and won’t make eye contact.
Why the lies?
Why all this weird fucking behavior?
“So, you let this asshole knock you around and then youbredwith him?” I can’t keep the disgust from my voice. It’s hard enough to believe she’d put up with anyone hitting her, but to bring a child into something volatile? To give such a huge part of herself to that prick? Reprehensible.
“Jeremiah doesn’t…didn’tknock me about. He got jealous and could be a bit of a dick, get a bit rough, but he would never, and I would never let him be that way with her or in front of her. You don’t understand.” She’s fumbling over her words now and it’s pathetic.
“Then make us,” Rodion growls, clutching her upper arms and pulling her right into him, his nose touching hers.
“He was necessary,” she cries out, eyes flooded with tears. “I needed him at a time when I was lost and frightened. He gave me financial stability and somewhere safe to live.”
Did we not offer her that?
My cheeks begin to burn with fury.
“And you gave him your pussy and pushed him out a kid?” Rodion sneers incredulously, shoving her away from him.
“Fuck you, Rodion,” she screams, tears bursting from her eyes and trailing down her cheeks. “You have no idea what it’s like when you have no options.” She jabs a finger against his chest. “Talk to me whenyougive up everything to keep the ones you love safe and then find out you’re having their baby. You would do anything to keep that innocent little life alive and protected.”
Blood roars in my ears. My brother makes a choking sound.
“Wait, what?” Rodion hisses and stumbles back.
Alyona’s eyes spring wide, her hands covering her mouth, as if she can shove the confession back inside.
“She’s not his,” I say, every nerve in my body becoming alert, crackling with energy.
She’s not fucking his.
“What?” Rodion turns to me, his brow crashing.
He knows. He just doesn’t want to believe it.
“The baby,” I bite out. “Whose is she, Alyona? Don’t fucking tell me she’s ours.” I can’t fucking breathe, my lungs are deflating and not rising again.
Whipping back around to face her, Rodion shakes his head like he can’t contain the information. “No.No.”
Sobs retch from Alonya, rattling her entire frame. Her hands stretch out in front of her as if to reach for us both.
“Is she ours?” I say again, an ache stabbing at my chest. “Answer me, dammit!”
I never thought about having children. Death is what I offer, not life. My family was brutally murdered when I was a kid and that leaves a mark. A dark fucking mark on a man’s soul. A profound emptiness lived within my chest, but then I had Rodion. I didn’t think I’d ever need anyone else until Alyona came to us, igniting a spark within us both. There was something so magical about her, wild and free. Then, like my family, like Rodion’s mother, she left me too, breaking something within me and taking another piece of my already shredded heart. I didn’t want to give any more of myself to anyone after she left. There is nothing left to give. Rodion is it for me. It’s a cold way of looking at life, but it’s necessary when you’re as damaged as I am.
Now there’s a baby and it might be ours…
