Jude: I'm sorry
Jamie's messagereadWe're going to brunch. Don't make me come to your house and drag you along.
It'd been a week since Emme's wedding—and the last I'd heard from Jude—and without the nonstop parties and preparations to keep me busy, I had to create my own distractions. I'd tested six new bread recipes, planned out my first full month of lessons, and brought home a new foster dog. Through it all, I somehow found the time to check my phoneevery few minutes on the off chance I'd missed a call or message from Jude.
I told myself there was a perfectly good explanation for his abrupt departure and the silence that'd followed, but as the days ticked by I felt those threads of certainty slipping through my fingers.
Since I knew better than to call Jamie's bluff, I set up Bagel the beagle with some peanut butter-flavored busywork and hopped a train into the city.
I found Jamie and Ruth on the sidewalk outside the restaurant, deep into an animated conversation. I loved that they both talked with their entire bodies.
"About ten more minutes until our table's ready," Jamie said by way of a greeting. She held up a timer on her phone. "I feel like I haven't seen you in a year."
"It's only been a few days," I said.
"But time is weird in the summer," she said. "There's so much of it but then it's over before it even gets started."
"The closest I come to a summer break is leaving the office before sunset on Fridays," Ruth said.
"You make five times as much as we do and no one wipes their nose on your skirt," Jamie said.
Ruth pointed at her. "Valid."
Once we were seated inside the restaurant and had a team strategy for ordering that covered a wide portion of the menu, Jamie clasped her hands on the table and swung a knowing glance between me and Ruth. "I've gathered you both here today because we are overdue for a debrief," she said.
Ruth snapped her menu shut. "What are we debriefing?"
I shot a grin at the woman beside me. I liked that she was brash. That she didn't seem to worry about offending anyone. She didn't let herself get caught up in niceties or careful phrasingwhen blunt truth got the job done. I could learn something from her.
"Yes, I'm wondering the same," I said.
Jamie arched her brows and went on staring with that universal teacher death glare that saidI'm waiting for you to do the right thing. Don't make me remind you what that is.
I probably deserved to be called into confession after the whirlwind I'd kicked up last weekend. No part of it had been subtle and that was a big departure from the role I usually played in this group.
I caught Ruth's eye and read thePlease don't call on meenergy there plain as day. "I suppose I can go first," I said.
"I'd love that," Jamie said. "Please go into great detail on the part where you disappeared for the duration of the cocktail hour and came back looking as though you'd been ridden like a prize pony."
"I didnotlook like?—"
"Your hair was half out of the updo and you had beard burn on your face, neck, and décolletage," Jamie said. "Don't even get me started on the condition of your dress, which, I mean, best wishes to your dry cleaner on that chore."
"What's a décolletage?" Ruth asked.
"Okay, but pony? Really?" I asked.
"Sure, I'll just look it up for myself," Ruth said.
"I did sayprizepony," Jamie said. "Also, I'd like an update on your missing rider. What happened to Daddy Fiancé? Why didn't he come back to the party with you? Please tell me you fucked him silly and he needed fluids and oxygen to recover. Where is he now? Is he waiting for you in bed, chained to a headboard? Please say yes." She tossed her long dark hair over her shoulder. "Please explain what's happening with you two now. And when will you admit that I was right about him all along?"
I reached for my mimosa and drained it in two gulps. My body would hate me for it later but my head would appreciate it now. "I wanted to show him around the tulip farm," I said. "As you know, we hadn't talked since the week before, and I love the farm so much and I just wanted a minute away from everything. We ended up over by all the sunflowers and"—I turned my gaze downward and scraped my nail along the hem of my shorts until I could form the words—"and we had a moment there. Against the side of the barn."
"What kind of moment?" Ruth asked.
"Yeah, what are we talking about here?" Jamie asked. "I don't know how anyone ends up looking as thoroughly fucked as you did without taking a serious pounding."
I glanced at the tables surrounding us, praying they hadn't heard that comment. "He, you know," I said, the words barely audible as I gestured to my lap.
