I went back to my watermelon. "Well."
The truth—the entirety of it—was a complicated thing. I knew there were pieces this group would understand since they had some experience with relationships that started under curious circumstances. But there were also pieces that felt like artifacts from another lifetime, too fine and fragile to expose to sunlight.
I felt the heat of everyone's attention on my face. If I didn't say something soon, I'd have to clutch my belly and dash for the house, claiming an irritable bowel situation. No one ever asked follow-up questions about those issues.
"An old friend," I started, "his mom, who I'd adored back when we were in high school, was diagnosed with advanced stage breast cancer."
"Oh my god," Emme said, sympathy quickly taking the place of her curiosity. "Oh, Audrey, I'm so sorry to hear that."
"She was really going through it," I went on. "And she asked my friend—Jude, his name's Jude—to promise that he'd find someone. That he'd settle down after she was gone. He was distraught, obviously, and told his mom that he was planning on proposing very soon."
Emme uncorked another bottle of champagne, saying, "I think I know where this is going."
"Me too," Shay murmured.
"Yeah, so, I went out to Arizona with him last week to visit his mom," I said, "as his fiancée."
The table was silent for a long moment while everyone shared sidelong glances. Then, Ruth asked, "Is there going to be a wedding? Or are you expecting the mother to die before it gets to that point?"
"Ruthie!" one of her sisters cried. Chloe. Maybe Amber? In my defense, they looked a lot alike.
"It's a valid question given the setup,Amber," Ruth said.
Then the other one was Chloe. Okay. This was good. Progress. I only had one other sister to identify. I wasn't completely failing as a bridesmaid.
"It's a rude question," Amber seethed.
Chloe nodded in agreement. Ruth made a low, irritable sound. Kind of like a jammed spice grinder.
"Well, fortunately for all involved," I started, "Jude's mom made an incredible recovery. She'll still need close monitoring and frequent scans, but she's not going anywhere soon."
"Then it's the wedding route?" Ruth asked.
I started to answer but stopped myself. It would've been easier to condense this into a bite-sized story if that week with Jude hadn't broken me open. This wasn't just a favor and it wasn't just a trip to Arizona and he wasn't just an old friend. It was a week I'd borrowed from another alternate lifetime and I still didn't know how to fold myself back into this lifetime without giving up everything I'd shoved into my pockets along the way.
"No," I said slowly. "Next month, he'll tell her we decided to call it off."
"I don't know," Grace said. "If I was dying and my kid told me he was getting married but then broke it off a month later, I'd call him on that shit. I'd play Sick Mommy until he confessed to his crimes."
"That's because you're actually an evil stepmother," Jamie said. "You just don't have any stepchildren to torment."
"I'm sure I could find some," Grace said.
"Am I correct in my understanding that this is a non-romantic friend?" Ines asked. "Or doesfriendimply something else in this context?"
I swallowed hard. My throat was tight, sticky. "You could say we have a bit of a romantic history."
From across the table, Jamie mouthed,Just a bit?
"Then it's possible that this construct was conceived to rekindle that romantic history," Ines went on.
"Probably not," I said, reaching for my water.
"But there's a chance," Ines said.
I drained the glass as another pang of emptiness hit my chest. "That wasn't how we left things last week."
"You're still riding the newlywed high, Mrs. Jones," Emme said, bringing a hand to her stepsister's forearm. "Not everyone is looking to get paired off." She smiled in my direction though it could've been a wince. "I hope you're okay. It sounds complicated."
