I didn't like that option any better.
I dropped her shoes in the closet, set her bag on the bench near the door. Tried to figure out what to do about this situation. Would coffee help? Something to eat? Did greasy food soak up ecstasy the way it did alcohol? What about a cold shower? I knewthat would help me. I wasn't sure I was comfortable leaving her alone in a shower so I'd have to go with her and—Fuck me.
I scrubbed a hand down my face. "Tell you about who?"
"Percy." She bounced on her knees. "I bet you have a ton of pics. Show me?"
I raked my bottom lip between my teeth. Photos were simple enough. Lower chance of her face-planting into a wall than the ballet moves. Much lower chance of me choking on my tongue over a flash of underwear. Maybe it would tire her out.
"Yeah. Sure." I swiped my phone and opened my albums. Handed it to her. "All yours."
"No, come overhere," she said with a pout. "You have to tell me all about the pics. Narrate the stories for me." She patted the bedspread beside her. "Sit here. With me."
I gulped. There was no way this would work out well for me.
"Please," she drawled, her hands clasped under her chin. Full puppy dog eyes too. Fucking brutal.
"All right," I said, kicking off my shoes. As soon as I sat down, she curled into my side. She had a hand on my back and the other tapping on my thigh, hurrying me along. Killing me. "These are from a few weeks ago. At one of the parks he likes."
"He looks just like you." She zoomed in on an image of Percy climbing a playset. "What a little conqueror." I watched the way her smile dug into her cheeks and softened her eyes. "Tell me about him."
"What do you want—" She ran the pad of her finger along the seam of my jeans, right up the inner thigh, and I lost my words. Whatever I'd wanted to say perished and it was taking the last of my decency down to hell with it.
"Everything," she replied, still unspooling me from that seam.
I'd been at least half hard since she grabbed me back at Mom's place but it was full steam ahead now. As long as shedidn't notice, we'd be all right. And if she did, well, it couldn't get much more awkward between us.
"He sleeps with twenty stuffed animals and it stresses me the fuck out because I worry about them suffocating him," I said in a heave of breath. "He likes outrageous burgers. You know, the ones with a scoop of macaroni and cheese on top or two slices of Hawaiian pizza instead of a bun."
She blinked up at me, owlish and adorable. "There are burgers that use entire slices of pizza to hold it all together?"
"It's not the sort of thing you'd ever go looking for, princess, but yes," I said. "Percy loves it. Give him a burger topped with an entire chili dog or some crab rangoon, and it's the best day of his life."
"I can just see him shoving a giant burger into his little face," she said.
My chest just about cracked open at that. It was intensely confusing to have these warm thoughts about my son while a bit more pressure from that fingertip of hers would have me coming in my pants. Really fucking confusing. "He likes Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and rocks and…dogs," I managed. "He likes dogs. Helicopters and planes?—"
"Well, of course he likes planes and helicopters," she teased. "You wouldn't have it any other way."
"Nah, I don't push it on him. He's allowed to like whatever he wants."
"Come on," she drawled. "Admit it. When you readPeter Panto him, you added your own chapters about the science of flying to Neverland. Distance and velocity and all the other physics stuff."
I shook my head. "Nope."
"Jude," she said, stern as ever. That tone only made things more complicated for me. "I know when you're not telling me the truth."
I didn't know if I believed that. Didn't want to believe it. "I didn't get into it withPeter Panbut we did pauseAladdinat a few points. The aerodynamics of the magic carpet—I mean, the wind speed alone would've knocked them off and?—"
"Like I said." She went back to swiping through the photos. "You miss him."
"Yeah." No sense denying it. "I like having him around. It's weird when he's not."
"Like your heart's walking around outside your chest," she said.
"Very much." I pointed to the screen. "That's from his last day of school."
"Why does he look so annoyed?"
