"Not your fault," I mumbled. "Let's just go."
He gave a slow, tight nod and we started toward the far end of the motel, our rolling bags bumping along beside us. When we reached the door, I leaned against the wall and decided I'd wash up first. There was nothing worse than climbing into bed and feeling grimy.
Jude gathered the bags and motioned for me to enter the room. The damp smell hit me right away, which was comical since everything was so dry here. But where a second bed would've been, I found an empty bed frame and a large trash can positioned under a hole in the ceiling.
I hadn't moved more than a step inside the doorway and Jude stumbled into me, his arm settling around my waist as he said, "What the?—"
I pointed to the trash can, surrounded by the ancient metal frame. "I'm guessing this is why they had a room available on short notice when everything else was booked?"
"Fuck." The word fell out of him on a sigh as his hold on my waist shifted, his fingers flexing. "Just…fuck."
A loudplinksounded and I wrinkled my nose at the trash can. "I know I didn't ask any clarifying questions about this room but I guess I just figured it would have two beds and zero roof leaks. Was that wrong?"
That seemed to remind him that his hands were getting real comfortable on my body. He cleared his throat and stepped away all at once.
"No." He closed the door and stayed there, his hand flattened on the panel. "You can have the bed"—we both glanced at the queen bed draped in a slippery-looking coverlet—"and I'll take the floor."
"I know you think I'm some kind of stone-cold evil bitch, but I'm not letting you do that. At a minimum, there's bacteria and fungus down there. Probably some MRSA too." I waved a hand at the bed, hopefully dry and short on fungus. "We can be adults about this. At least for tonight. We'll make it work."
Jude stared at me for a long moment, his brows arched high like he couldn't believe what I was saying.Icouldn't believe anything about the past day and a half. I had a sneaking suspicion that this was one big, messy dream and I was a minute away from waking up.
When that didn't happen, Jude said, "I need to make some calls. Let my mother know we won't be there tonight."
"Yeah. Okay. You do that," I said, realizing in pieces that we'd be sleeping together in this room. In thisbed.Together.Allnight. After we took off our clothes and changed into pajamas and—my god, what if Jude didn't sleep in pajamas? What if he'd turned into one of those men who slept naked? He'd wearboxers for my benefit. But maybe he'd abandoned boxers in his earlier years and made the switch to boxer briefs or regular old briefy briefs—or some other style I didn't know about because having that much information about a man wasn't one of my top thousand priorities. I'd be sleeping beside him and that new underwear. Images raced through my mind of Jude as a paper doll, each version of him dressed only in different types of undies—and the glasses. Always the glasses.
And saying my scones were the best. That too.
I slapped a hand over my eyes as if that would make any of this go away. All I knew was I had to stop thinking about his underwear.
On second thought, the floor didn't look so bad.
He yanked my hand away from my face. "What are you doing?"
"Just…trying to remember if I know anyone in this part of the world who also has a helicopter handy or a driver on staff. Or, just a lot of sympathy." I didn't meet his eyes. Couldn't. "No one comes to mind."
I felt him staring at me. Studying me. Probably waiting for a non-ridiculous answer. "Are you hungry? Do you want me to get anything for you? There's not much around here, but I could swing back to the diner."
The diner food was incredible and I ate like it was my last meal, which meant it would seriously destroy my gut for the next ten to fifteen business days. "No, thanks. I'm going to take a shower and then get some sleep."
He nodded but lingered by the door. "I am sorry about this, Saunders."
I waved him off. "Eh, you enjoy seeing me suffer."
Jude gazed at me for a second but didn't disagree. Because it was true. Then, "I'll be back in an hour."
I watched as he closed the door behind him and then let my attention wander back to the bed.
"It won't be that bad," I said to the empty room. "I hope."
chapter eighteen
Jude
Today's vocabulary word: recognize
I didn't havea lot of experience in sleeping with Audrey Saunders.
We'd shared plenty of nights when her parents were out of town but they'd been the kind where sleep was the last priority. Back then, it was about gulping down those frenzied, forbidden moments. I'd been too caught up in the primal, screaming need of it all to slow down and appreciate the simple goodness of being close to her, ofsleepingwith her.
