If I'd felt a boulder roll off my shoulders earlier, this sent the whole mountain crashing down. All these weights, theseburdensshifted suddenly and I could finally see the way through this. Through the complications and headaches and disasters—and I knew without a doubt what was waiting for us on the other side.
"I love you," I said to her. "You know that. Right?"
"I'd say so, yeah." Her smile hit low in my gut and it hit hard. "I love you too."
"No, I need you to understand that I fucking love you, Audrey." I brought my hands to her face and sealed my lips to hers. "We've already lost too much time and I can't lose a second more. I love you, all of you, every last inch of you. You're everything to me. I don't care if we get married. Doesn't matter to me. But I need you to know that I'm yours and you are mine, and there is nothing in this world that will keep me away from you. The rest of my life isn't nearly enough to love you but it's all I have. Please tell me it's enough."
"It's enough," she said against my lips. "It's everything I've ever wanted.Weare everything."
"Me too," Percy signed. "And Bagel."
I swept an arm out and folded him into our embrace. "Can't forget about Bagel."
We stayed there for a moment, locked in an awkward jumble of limbs while people passed by with their rolling luggage and curious glances. I needed a little longer, just one more minute to breathe knowing that my world wasn't perfect but it was damn close.
And then my son asked, "Can we have burgers now?"
chapter sixty-one
Audrey
Today's vocabulary word: reunion
I staredup at the stars from the narrow balcony, searching for the handful of constellations I knew. The hazy glow of the lights around the hotel and parking lot made it difficult to see more than the headliners, but I let myself look anyway. It was quiet here, if I ignored the highway noise in the distance.
In a strange, out-of-focus way, this reminded me of all the summer nights I'd snuck out to meet Jude. It reminded me of being young and fearless and absolutely certain we'd be able to write the future we wanted for ourselves. And it reminded me that we'd grown up but not apart.
The sliding glass door opened and Jude stepped out, effectively taking up the last bit of standing room on this balcony. He leaned into me, his shoulder bumping mine. "He's asleep."
I bumped him back. "I still can't believe he ate the entire burger."
"And the fries and the onion rings," Jude added.
"Just wait," I said, nudging him again. "He'll wake up one of these days and be taller than you."
Laughing, he said, "I think we have some time before that happens."
Even on this dark doormat of a balcony, I could see the change in him. He was lighter now that the custody issues were settled. He didn't have to work so hard to breathe anymore. "You're probably right."
The new agreement was simple and short on legal maneuvers. Jude had sole custody of Percy, with visitation for Brenda and Maddie at his discretion.
Since Brenda would be making the move to a memory care community once she was finished with rehab, that left her home empty. Maddie was confident she could rent out the house to cover the upkeep costs while still reserving some time for us to visit for a few weeks each summer, and she seemed excited about the prospect.
For all the simplicity of this outcome, I knew it wasn't without some major compromise from both sides. I didn't think they would've arrived at this decision without the pressure cooker of the past few weeks.
Something about intense stress had a way of distilling situations down to their most basic parts.
"There is another issue we haven't discussed," he said, his tone turning serious.
"I don't think there is," I replied. "We've had enough issues. We're good."
"One more thing. You need to go back to ballet."
"My knees and ankles disagree."
"That's not what I remember from your performance in Sedona." He scrubbed his knuckles over his jaw. "You looked better than ever that night."
"Am I to believe it was my ankles you were watching? Really?"
