"It's just going to take you some time to find your new normal," I said.
"Audrey, darling, precious, love. Listen," Jamie said with a sigh. "I've found the new normal and it consists of watching fourteen different spin-off versions of NCIS with my dad while frighteningly sober. I don't even get to go and choke on a dick after that. I crawl into bed at a respectable hour, not covered in jizz, and wake up without any unexplainable bruises."
"This is how I felt when I stopped being able to tolerate gluten and a dozen other things," I said.
"You were disappointed about not going to bed covered in jizz?" Ruth asked.
"Yes. Nightly," I said to her, completely straight-faced. "It just felt like my world had turned upside down and everything that'd once been an ordinary part of my life, something I'd barely even thought about, was now a huge, dangerous problem."
"I just hate that I'm boring," Jamie said.
"The only version of you I've ever known has been the sober, celibate one," Ruth said. "Trust me when I say there's nothing boring about you."
I pointed at Ruth. "Listen to her."
"That's right, listen to me," Ruth said. "You should know by now that I don't bullshit anyone."
"And it won't be like this forever," I added. "You just need to stay healthy for a bit before easing back in and figuring out the limits."
"I really hope so," Jamie said.
"You'll be going to bed covered in jizz again before you know it," I said.
I felt an arm settle around my waist and then, "How is that I've never heard you use that word before?"
I nudged my elbow into Jude's side. "Quiet, you."
"I've known you a long time," he went on, "but this is a new one."
"Jamie brings it out in me," I said, laughing.
"You're welcome." She sidled closer. "So good to see you again, Daddy. It was such a long time between visits. Nice of you to stick around."
"Oh. Um. Yeah. You're right about—about that." Jude cleared his throat and glanced away. It was a real treat to see him leveled by Jamie Rouselle, a pattypan squash of a woman. "Good to see you too."
"Don't worry," she said, leaning in even closer. "I don't bite—much."
"Put it back in your pants, Morticia," Ruth said, play-shoving Jamie aside. "Hi. We did not meet when you popped in for that come-and-go with our girl last month but I'm Ruth Ralston. I'm an attorney and despite the fact you put Audrey through some very pointless hell, I don't like anything I've heard about your ongoing custody battles."
Jude's fingers flexed on my waist as he listened. He shot a quick glance at Percy, still busy with Gennie, before saying, "I don't like it either but there's not much I can do."
Ruth pulled out her phone and started scrolling. "I'm not your attorney. I don't represent you. This is not legal advice. I don't even specialize in family law," she said.
Noah must've heard something that interested him because he looked up from the now-fixed ATV and called, "Who needs a family law attorney?"
"Jude does," Ruth shouted back.
"I have an attorney," Jude said.
"Not a good one if this situation is still going to court," Ruth said. "This should've been resolved between counsel or in mediation." She went back to her phone. "I'm trying to find contact info for a friend of a friend who has a lot of experience with nonlinear custody situations and kinship petitions."
"It's going to court? Why didn't you say something sooner? What's the situation?" Noah wiped his hands on a bandana as he joined us. "I'm only a farmer by family. Lawyer by trade."
Ruth held up a hand, saying, "Yeah, but you're a corporate litigation wonk like me. Family law is an entirely different ballgame."
"It is, though I did adopt my sister's daughter just a few years ago, so I've been on the field once or twice." Noah grinned up at the farmhouse as Shay stepped out onto the porch. "We'll talk this over at the festival. They'll have liquor. I find that helps."
chapter fifty-three
