“It wasn’t all about the barns. Sometimes you just need a glare to set you straight, sweetheart.”
“What doesthatmean?”
“You know exactly what it means,” I said. “Consuming nothing more than coffee and pudding all day. Going out to random bars with idiots. Telling me you’re going to walk home alone—at night. You needed a good glare.”And a reminder of who you belong to.
“You probably should’ve explained that from the beginning because it gave me the impression you wanted to get rid of me.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I didn’t want anything to do with you and that’s why I invited you to dinner or brought you bread all those times. And securing a line of credit forty-five minutes after you gave me a back-of-the-envelope proposal for a wedding venue was one big mixed message.”
“Does it make me an idiot if I didn’t realize any of that until now?”
“You’re not an idiot. You’re just accustomed to people failing you.”
Several minutes passed as she worked my back, shoulders, and arms. Every inhale was a cloud of honey and almond. Every touch of her fingers was a lapping wave of relief. It was one of the best things I’d ever experienced.
“Where did you get all of these knots?”
“They’re organic, just like everything else around here,” I replied.
“It’s like you’ve been growing them since you were born.”
I laughed. “That’s probably because I have been.”
“Then you’ll have to let me untangle them every few weeks.”
I smiled. She couldn’t see it but that didn’t matter. “Yeah. I guess I’ll have to let you do that.”
Shay rubbed her hands down the length of my back and I couldn’t remember feeling this light and loose ever in my life. I wanted to melt into this bed and sleep for hours. But more than that, I wanted to get my hands on my wife.
I reached back, closed my fingers around her ankle. “I have a few more knots for you to work out. Let me roll over and I’ll show you.”
Laughing, she leaned close to me and brushed her lips over my neck. “In a minute. I’m not done here.”
Before I could respond, her phone buzzed beside me. At once, we turned our heads to look at the screen. A message flashed there.
X (DO NOT ANSWER):I need to see you.
X (DO NOT ANSWER): We have to talk.
Because I liked hurting myself,I asked, “Who is that?”
I heard her swallow. She was silent a moment before saying, “Well. That’s my ex-fiancé.”
Suddenly I was off the bed and on my feet. If the ceiling fell down around me, it wouldn’t be any more surprising than this announcement. “Your—yourfiancé?”
“Ex,” she said. “Ex-fiancé.”
“You were engaged.” She bobbed her head while I processed this at a speed of several thousandwhat the fucksper second. “When? When were you engaged? When was this?”
She pressed her fingers to her lips. “July.”
Since all I could do was repeat her words, I said, “You were engaged in July.”
She stared at the floor. “I was supposed to get married in July.”
“You were supposed to—okay.” I nodded like it was a nervous tic. “Okay. So. That didn’t happen.” Running straight into the pain, I asked, “What did happen?”
A hard, bitter smile stretched across her lips though she never looked up from the floor. “He called it off.”
