In the end, the only way to put these issues in order was by rolling her to her back and crawling between her legs. “That’s not happening.”
“Noah.” She laughed as she pressed her knees together and twisted away from me.
That didn’t stop me. I palmed her round ass and kissed the outside of her thighs. Hell, I’d kiss her elbow if that was what she gave me. I loved every inch of this impossible woman.
“You know I’m right. We don’t want to confuse Gennie.”
There was a kernel of truth in there. We didnotneed to confuse Gennie, and the last thing I wanted was to explain to my niece the nature of adult sleepovers. But I couldn’t leave her alone in the house either, not even for ten minutes. God forbid she woke up and no one was here for her. It would set her progress back by ages.
“I can take an ATV,” she offered. “That would work.”
“That wouldnotwork. It’s too damn dark and we take ATV safety very seriously here. We have a rule at Little Star: no driving in unsafe conditions. It’s the zero rollover policy.”
“I’m just going down the hill,” she argued. “Paved roads all the way.”
I gave her ass a rough squeeze. “Do you even know what kinds of animals are out at this hour? You’ve got deer and coyotes to start, and let’s pretend for a second that none of them run in front of that ATV, even though they do exactly that all the damn time. Set that aside and you’re left with raccoons, woodchucks, skunks. Do you really want to run across a skunk? You don’t. Trust me.” Another squeeze. “You’re just going to have to spend the night, wife. I’ll handle Gennie.”
Shay stared at me, her lips pressed into a stiff pout and her gaze hazy but hard, like she was tired though annoyed enough to fight it off. As I watched her, my head on her thigh and my fingers drawing circles along her hip and the silence stretching between us, it occurred to me that I might have made an enormous error.
I wasn’t holding her hostage.Obviously.If she insisted on leaving, I wouldn’t stop her. I’d gather up Gennie, sheets and quilt and all, and we’d drive Shay down to Twin Tulip. If she really wanted to go, I’d make that happen in the safest way possible.
But I didn’t believe she really wanted to go.
For starters, she was still in my bed. Still naked, still tolerant of the hands I couldn’t keep off her. She wasn’t circling the room in search of her underwear or shrugging off my touch. And second, she hadn’t said a word. I knew that could mean a hundred different things but Shay had no problem disagreeing with me. She didn’t mind pushing back on me. Not now, not ever.
But most importantly, her expression wasn’t one I’d associate with having insulted her. I knew because I’d done just that since her arrival and I was familiar with the way it played over her face.
This wasn’t that. There was annoyance and a touch of defiance but also an edge of curiosity. Like she was waiting for me to back these claims up with action. Like she wanted me establishing some limits.
I remembered then what Jaime had said about Shay wanting a family more than anything in the world. Family didn’t stop at birthday cakes and fake marriages to save the farm. Family showed up when you went out to a bar with the wrong crowd. Family hollered at you about walking alone at night. Family cared even when it was really inconvenient.
Though I didn’t admit it often, I resented just about everything when it came to my family. Being stuck between an apple farmer with the biggest heart in the world and zero business sense, and a moderately progressive preacher who prioritized the appearance of a happy family over the reality still bothered me.
Leaving my law practice to move home and untangle the financial sinkhole that was Barden Orchards swallowed up several years of my life with boiled-over resentment.
Watching while my sister was sentenced to life in prison was an enormous source of my hostility. That she hadn’t bargained away information on that boyfriend of hers woke me up in a cold sweat most nights.
I still wasn’t free from the bitterness that came with upending my life one more time to become my niece’s guardian, though Gennie wasn’t the source of my anger. It was that I was always the one to shoulder these burdens. I had to step in and save the day every fucking time and I was tired of putting my life on hold to do that. I didn’t want everyone to expect me to rescue them.
Though I didn’t mind rescuing Shay.
It wasn’t a requirement when it came to her. It was a choice.
“I want you to stay here,” I said. “I’m sure you can make it down the hill on your own but you shouldn’t. It’s late and you are the best thing that’s ever been in this bed and I want you to stay. With me.”
There was a long moment where Shay eyed me carefully, as if she was searching for cracks and fissures in my words. Then, “You don’t think it will be difficult for Gennie?”
I stroked a hand from the back of her knee up to her waist. “I think she’ll be too happy to see you to put any pieces together. If she does, I’ll deal with it. Hell, I handled it when she knocked a kid’s front teeth out last year. At least they were baby teeth.” I gave her ass a light slap. “I can handle this. Don’t let it worry you.”
“Okay.” She lifted a shoulder. “I guess I’ll stay.”
“Yeah? If you want to leave, I’ll take you home. I’m not going to keep you here against your will.” I ran my thumb along the crease between her thigh and backside, and barely brushed at the wet between her legs. A shiver moved through her body and she pinned her knees together even tighter. “Unless—unless you’d like that.”
The amount of wrong packed into that statement could not be minimized. No part of this felt appropriate or respectful or any of the things I wanted to be for Shay. It was filthy and primal, andso wrongyetunimaginably right. And I couldn’t explain why it was right.
Odds were high it wasn’t right at all and I’d find that out when she kneed me in the jaw.
She fidgeted with her fingers and wiggled a bit. “Maybe I would.”
