“He’s fine,” I said, laughing.
“See? I’mfine,” McKerry hollered. “If you ever get tired of this cranky old man, you come talk to me, sweetheart.”
“Don’t make me fucking kill you, McKerry,” Ryan said. He didn’t sound murderous. He just sounded tired. I could almost see him rubbing his temples. “Listen, this is going to take a few hours. I’m waiting to hear back about any available planes in the area, but if that doesn’t work, we’re going to grab a commercial flight.”
Bowen and I shared an amused glance at that. I could only imagine the sight of Ryan and his starting O-line wedging themselves into the last available middle row seats of a commercial flight.
In the background, I heard McKerry say, “Can you ask her if she likes jerky? Because I brought a super big bag with three different kinds from this dude that I know who makes it and it’s primo quality and I’d share if she wants to hang out.”
To me, Ryan said, “Hold on a second.” Then, to someone else, “Can you take him, please? No, I don’t care. Have him do some wind sprints on the runway. Itisyour problem because I’ll leave you here with him if you don’t let me talk to my wife for five fucking minutes.”
Bowen swallowed a laugh.
“Fuck me,” Ryan muttered, though it didn’t seem like he intended that for me or Bowen. Then, “Okay Muggs, here’s the deal. No matter how this shakes out, we probably won’t be able to stop in Boston to pick you up and I don’t want you waiting around in a terminal at the off chance that we can. Marcie’s working on getting you booked on a commercial flight to Nantucket and I’ll find a way to meet you there later tonight. Assuming I haven’t been arrested for strangling McKerry and Hersberler.”
“Let’s do what we can to avoid that,” I said.
“Believe me, I’m working on it.”
“I’m afraid to ask about Wilcox and Bigelow. Are they fighting over a parachute or tied up in the cargo hold?”
“They’re deep into a video game battle. I don’t think they’ve even noticed we landed.” I heard a door close and then, “I’m sorry this is such a mess.”
“It’s really not a big deal,” I said. “Isn’t there a ferry? I could take the ferry.”
“Yeah, it leaves out of New Bedford,” Bowen added.
“You’re not taking a ferry,” Ryan said. “Listen, I just got a text from Marcie that we’re getting you on the seven o’clock to Nantucket. You’ll have an email any minute now. There will be a driver waiting to pick you up and take you to the house we have for the weekend. The house should be stocked but if there’s anything you need, just call Marcie and?—”
“You do realize that I’ve lived on my own—in a major city—for a number of years, right? And that I did keep myself alive through all of those years?” Ryan didn’t respond though I was positive the muscles in his jaw were doing a lot of work. “You have nothing to worry about. Everything will be just fine.”
Everything was not fine.
In fact, everything went wrong in big ways. What should’ve been a quick trip over Cape Cod to the islands turned into a national security incident.
When I arrived at the house three hours later than expected, I found Ryan jogging down a carpeted staircase, scowling whole thunderclouds at his phone. I slammed the door behind me.
“I’ve been looking for you for the past ten minutes,” he said, jabbing a hand at me. “Where’ve you been?”
“I just got here.”
“But…how did I beat you here?” he asked as he crossed the room toward me.
When he skimmed a hand down my back, I stared up at him for a second. “You might want to sit down for this.”
His eyes went wide. “For what?”
“You probably won’t believe any of this and you should know this story comes at a great personal cost,” I said, pacing away from the foyer. “But I’m going to tell you anyway.”
“Emmeline. What the fuck happened?”
I gestured to a crisp white sofa. After a moment of intense staring—which I won—he went to the sofa and sat down.
I spread my hands out in front of me. “There was a delay.”
He pointed to his phone. “But you took off and landed on time. I tracked your flight.”
“I can see how this might be confusing. I’m also confused.” I wandered in a short circuit between a pair of wingback chairs. “The delay was after the landing. And just for me. Because my vibrator turned on during the flight. And it didn’t look like a regular vibrator to anyone involved so I had to explain what it was, and then it wouldn’t turn off even when five different people tried to disable it. And everyone on the flight went crazy—crying, praying, screaming. And they called in some really important people with badges and guns because the vibration pattern sounded like a countdown and they thought someone was remotely controlling a detonator. In my vibrator.”
