Not unless she asked for it.
After all these years, I finally knew what it sounded like when she came around my cock and I knew how it tasted to call her my wife. And I wasn’t about to forget it—or cross another line until she was ready.
I needed to find some tissues and get her a big cup of water and then hit the treadmill until I couldn’t feel my legs. Instead of doing any of that, I asked, “Where are we with the revenge plot?”
“I found out he’s engaged now.”
That fucking guy. It would’ve been amusing to watch him avoid me all night if not for the fact that I wanted to sack him so hard he lived the rest of his life with the taste of soil in the back of his throat. That opportunity didn’t present itself to me though I glared so many holes through that boy he was a screen door by the time I was done with him.
“Which I discovered when I met his fiancée.” I heard the rustle of sheets and a sad, salty laugh. “Well, I met heragain.”
I turned around. Discussing her ex smothered any arousal I felt real fast and I couldn’t have this conversation without seeing her face. “What does that mean?”
“He’s marrying the girl he cheated on me with.” Her words dripped with the deceptive kind of sweet that women used when they wanted you to know they were furious and teetering on the edge of psychotic. “She didn’t think it was too much of a problem. The cheating, that is. Because she never asked if he was seeing other people. Guess who else didn’t ask? If you guessed me, then you’re right! If only I’d asked, then—then what? I would’ve found out he was seeing girls on the side? No, actually,Iwas the girl on the side. I was the girl who put up with his shit and still cooked him dinner. That must make me the fool in this story. But don’t worry about that because his fiancée wants us to be friends now.”
Thatfuckingguy.
There was no other option for me than to climb onto the bed and pull Emme into my arms. “You want me to send some linebackers to fuck him up?”
She made a ranty sound and pulled the hood up, tightening the strings under her chin. It was the cutest thing. I loved when she did that. She looked like a strange, beautiful doll. “That’s not going to solve anything but I wouldn’t lose sleep over it.”
“You proved your point tonight and believe me, he heard it loud and clear.” I rubbed a hand down her back. “You can’t let him get to you.”
“It’s not that I’m letting him get to me,” she said. “I’m just angry. About everything.” She curled her hands into tiny, angry claws and shredded some invisible demon. “I see him and all I can think about is the mess he left behind, and I’mfurious. I’m furious that he took so much from me and I’m furious that I let him. That a year of my life is gone but he gave up nothing. He walked away without a scratch on him and went on to convince this girl it was actually her fault he’d cheated.”
“Then this isn’t about him getting engaged?”
If her eyes could’ve killed me, I’d already be out there haunting old houses. “I don’t give a single fuck about that. It’s that he ruined so many things—he ruinedme?—”
“No, Em, he didn’t. Not even close. This dickhead guy doesn’t have what it takes to break you. He tried and look what he got. You crushed him like a bug tonight and you probably blew off his fiancée too.”
“For your information, I was actually very nice to her.”
“Mmm. Bet you were.”
“Stop it with the judgymmm. You weren’t there,” she snapped.
“I didn’t have to watch it go down to know you intimidated the fuck out of her.”
“I don’t intimidate anyone. Not even my second graders. I’m five feet tall and sometimes I buy shoes from the kid’s section.”
“You have no idea”—I ran a finger along the line of her jaw and gently tipped her face up to catch her eyes—“how much power you wield just in the way you look at people.”
She shook her head. “I don’t—I don’t think?—”
“You can cut someone in half with a glance. I know because I’ve watched you do it for years. Just like I know you’re the only one who doesn’t recognize how strong you are.”
She trailed a finger over the inked waves on my forearm and the red cupping circles around my elbow where the therapists in Minnesota had manipulated the joint this week. She was quiet for a long minute and I didn’t mind because that fingertip was busy blowing up every nerve ending in my entire arm. When she made her way up to my bicep and under the sleeve of my shirt, I accepted the hard truth that I was completely powerless against her. She could turn me on with nothing more than the touch of one finger and I’d gladly beg for more.
Then, seemingly unaware of her impact on me, she yawned until her jaw clicked. “It’s hard to keep being strong whennothing lasts. I feel like I never stop putting myself back together. Always starting over. Every time I think I’m okay, something new falls apart. It’s everything, everyone. Even Grace is slipping away from me.” She tapped that finger to the center of my chest. “And someday I’ll lose you too.”
“Not in this lifetime,” I said, my voice suddenly strained. “Or the next one.”
“You say that but…” She lifted her shoulders in a small, resigned shrug. “Nothing lasts. Not for me.”
Notice me. Noticethis.The way I always noticed you. The way I’ll never stop noticing.
“We’re going to last, Em.” I laced my fingers with hers, held them to my chest. “I’m not going anywhere. There’s no world where I exist without you and I don’t want there to be one.”
