“That’s true,” Jamie mused.
Grace asked, “Will Ryan want to invite a lot of the guys from his team?”
Some water went up my nose as I thought about taking McKerry up on his offer to be our ring bearer. And Hersberler hitting on everything with two legs. “Yeah, probably.”
Jamie reached for her Diet Coke, nodding slowly. “It’s a good thing Grace will be your maid of honor because I’m warning you right now—I don’t think I’ll be on my best behavior at your wedding with all those boys and all that tequila.”
I met Grace’s eyes across the table. She beamed at me, saying, “I’m ready for it. Or, I will be once I get through withmywedding.”
I nodded and told myself to smile back. There was no doubt in my mind that things would be different on the other side of her wedding. We’d be okay again.
Or something like it.
On the waydown to the cafeteria to pick up our students, Jamie hooked her arm in mine, saying quietly, “Your face says you’ve been naughty.”
I couldn’t stop the big, full-cheeked smile that swallowed me whole. “A little,” I admitted.
We stopped at the top of the staircase, letting the others go ahead without us. “It was a good weekend, I take it?”
Jamie and I didn’t usually talk about sex. Well, Jamie talked about sex and I asked intro-level questions about polyamory and the etiquette of orgies and cuddle puddles. But I needed to talk to someone about the events that took place on the plane.
After I’d stopped thinking about throwing myself down a well, it hit me that while I liked sex and I’d had plenty of it with a handful of satisfying partners over the years, I’d never donethatbefore.
The specifics of it aside, I wasn’t one to initiate. I could drop a hint—or a hand high on his thigh—but I didn’t take the lead or provide a ton of direction between the sheets. It wasn’t the most mature thing to admit but I was more comfortable letting my partner tell me what he wanted than making my desire the focus.
I didn’t have any big reason for it other than the fact I didn’t trust most people enough to be completely vulnerable in that way.
Apparently I trusted Ryan enough to mount his leg.
“Well. On the flight home yesterday,” I started, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks again. “I wasn’t feeling good—cramps, hangover—and we were just chilling under a blanket. And then that turned into rubbing up against each other.” Every cell in my body pulsed at the memory of how hard I’d fought for that orgasm, of my heaving breath, my sweat-damp skin. How I’d thought of nothing but getting myself there. How I’dusedhim to do it and he’d liked it. He’d wanted it. “I basically rode him like a birthday party pony.”
“It sounds like this marriage is getting off on a phenomenal foot,” she said with a wink. “Many happy returns.”
Quietly, I said, “But I made it all about me.”
“Well done,” she replied. “I admire that kind of energy.”
“But it wasn’t—you know—reciprocal.”
She arched a brow. “He didn’t finish?”
“Oh, he did,” I said, bobbing my head at the memory of the very soggy shirt to go with the equally soggy joggers. Thank god for carry-on luggage. “But I didn’t do anything for him to?—”
“Let Auntie Jamie stop you right there.” She dropped her hands to my shoulders. “Emme, my love, my glorious, silly tempest, I promise you did everything right. If he was able to reach completion”—she spread her hands out in front of her—“without you lifting a finger, you did so many things right that you’ve won sex.”
“I’vewonsex?”
“Yes, you’ve won. You’re the best. And you might’ve won sex but that boy of yours is realizing he won at life. He gets engaged and comes in his pants all in one weekend? He’s searching up mating bonds and wondering if you have any other hidden powers.”
Another wave of heat climbed up my neck. I’d spent the whole night tossing and turning with the sound of Ryan’s low growls in my head. Couldn’t forget the way he’d gripped my waist and moved me like he knew how my body worked better than I did. The way he’d said,Don’t you fucking stoplike he was desperate for me.
I’d wanted to creep down the stairs, slide into his bed, and hear it all over again.
I felt Jamie peering at me, her dark brows low. “You liked it, right? It was good for you?”
I stared down at my ring. “I had no idea it could be that good.”
“It’s amazing what you can accomplish without even getting your pants off.” She gave my forearm a squeeze. “What did he think about your hair?”
