When I lifted the skirt, he went to work unfastening the tiny buckles. He held my elbow as I stepped out and then hooked them around his fingers. He motioned for me to turn around, and when I did, he tugged the zipper down to my waist. His knuckles bumped over the hooks of my bra and along the small of my back.
I shivered. There was no way he didn’t notice. I’d tried so hard to keep my reactions in check tonight, but now, with all this oxygen rushing to my head and the complete lack of an audience gobbling up our every move, I found I couldn’t hold back anymore.
That was the fear at the core of all this. I didn’t trust myself to hold back. I didn’t trust myself to keep my feelings out of thefake marriage. I didn’t believe it could ever be anything but real for me, and thinking about that broke my heart in advance.
His knuckles disappeared and he reached for the carryout bags in my hand, saying, “I’ll take those.”
We made slow work of the stairs but Ryan stayed a few steps behind me, silent with a steady hand low on my back the entire time.
Rounding the landing on the third floor, I asked, “What do you want to watch?”
“What do you usually watch with your cheese?”
“Just so you know, it’s not like I’m gnawing on a block of cheddar.”
“But it’s so much more amusing to me that way.”
“Anything to force you to smile,” I said.
He yawned. “I’ll watch whatever you want. It’s up to you.”
“In other words, you don’t want to choose but you will complain unless it’sIndiana Jones,The Hobbit, orTop Gun.”
“You forgotThe MummyandBlack Panther.”
“Ohhhh,The Mummy,” I said. “Definitely that.”
The apartment was dark when I let us in, no light seeping out from beneath Ines’s room. Probably still out. I closed the door behind us and motioned for Ryan to follow me to the other end of the apartment.
“I need to change into something completely shapeless and soft before my ribs get stuck this way,” I said, heading toward the closet. “My laptop is plugged in over there. Make yourself comfy.”
It took me a few minutes to wrestle my way out of the sewn-in bra and the shapewear shorts Wren had recommended forsmooth lines. I pulled on sweats and a hoodie and ducked into the bathroom to wash off my makeup.
When I returned, Ryan had ditched the shoes, jacket, and bow tie, and opened his collar at the throat. He stood by the bed,his hands in his pockets as he stared at the old water spots on the ceiling. “You’re sure you don’t want to hang out at my place? I have an eighty-inch TV and the rain never makes its way inside.”
I settled on the bed and started unpacking the desserts. “I’m good.” I patted the spot beside me. “You’re not going to be able to see the movie from over there.”
He hesitated a moment and then climbed up. He raised his arm as if he was about to wrap it around me but stopped himself, instead saying, “You were incredible tonight. It was everything I needed and more. Thank you.”
I felt my cheeks heat. I tapped the screen to start the movie. “Anytime, husband.”
He made a noise as the opening credits rolled, something between coughing and clearing his throat. Then, “And thanks for putting up with the guys.”
“Oh, come on. They were easy.”
“Easy, perhaps,” he said. “But that doesn’t mean you’d choose it. I know you don’t want anything to do with that world.”
I nodded as I organized the desserts. “As long as I don’t run into my dad at any of these events, I’ll be fine.”
“I’ll make sure you don’t.”
“That’s good enough for me to bust out the barmaid bra.”
A long breath gusted out of him as he settled back against the pillows. “The less I know about your bras, Em, the better off I will be.”
I was about to ask him about the kiss we shared tonight and whether he’d noticed how true andrightit’d felt when those words hit me. I didn’t hear them at first but like raindrops slowly soaking through your clothes, they chilled me down to the bone.
As the movie played, I watched as Ryan drifted off to sleep, his hands clasped over his stomach and his jaw relaxed for the first time all night. It wasn’t long before he shifted toward me,his arm around my waist and his face pressed up against my side.
