I forced myself to shower in my room, but when that was done I went back to pacing the floors and trying to find a way to fix this. There weren’t many answers, and I was the only one to blame for that.
Gifts wouldn’t work. If anything, inundating her with presents would only backfire. She didn’t want to be bought. Couldn’t be bought.
Jakobi wouldn’t let me anywhere near Ines. I knew that without asking, but I also knew there was no situation in which I could use Emme’s family to get to her. That wasn’t the move.
It was too soon to go to Grace’s house. If Ben didn’t hit me with the stun gun, she would, and no part of that worked out well for me. Even if Grace gave me the green light, I was too fucked up to fix anything right now. There were so many things I wanted to say to Emme that I knew I’d get it all wrong if I tried.
Which left me with only two options, each equally difficult. Since I couldn’t stay here, stewing in my misery and overexertion, I knew what I had to do.
chapter thirty-four
Emme
Today’s Learning Objective:
Students will be able to fake-smile and smuggle jewels.
I droveto Shay and Noah’s farm in Rhode Island with Ben and Grace, anchored down in the back seat of his truck with a pile of garment bags over my lap. I tuned out their conversation from the start and stared out the window as the city gave way to endless stretches of green and trees.
We’d start setting up when we arrived. If we stuck to Audrey’s schedule, we’d have the reception space finished well before tonight’s rehearsal kicked off. I was counting on the work to distract me. I didn’t need another minute alone with my thoughts.
When we turned down the lane to Twin Tulip and the grand old Victorian home that’d been renovated and expanded to house commercial kitchens and a ballroom looking out over acres of lush gardens and a small cove, a leaden ball of disappointment settled in my gut.
I’d hoped Ryan would fall in love with this weird, magical place the same way I had when I first visited. I’d never said it out loud because I wanted him to feel how special it was and insistwe host our big wedding celebration here. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it since the day Grace mentioned all of us getting married at the farm.
Just one more thing that won’t be happening.
Ben pulled around back to the service entrance—another addition since my last visit—and ordered us to wait while he unloaded the boxes in the back.
Grace leaned on the center console to shoot a smile at me. “Claustrophobic yet?”
I glanced at the heavy bags from the bridal boutique. “Surprisingly, no, but I haven’t been able to feel my toes for the last half hour.”
“They’re not all necessary.” She studied me for a second. “You’re sure you’re okay?”
I wanted to put on a good face for Grace. I wanted to sink into maid of honor mode and block and defend for my girl, so she didn’t have to worry about a single thing. Most of all, me. “I’m actually okay,” I said, and I believed some part of that. I looked around outside the vehicle for Ben. “Since we’re alone, how areyou?”
She motioned to her chest. “I feel like I could throw up at any moment, but I’m also too excited to sit still. It’s good, I’m all right, but I won’t be drinking tonight.”
“Smart,” I said. “Do you want me to go to the oyster place just to check that everything is the way you want it?”
“You’re not going to the oyster bar,” she cried. “I have two goals for this weekend. Number one, get married. Number two, no shellfish incidents.”
We had a quick rehearsal scheduled tonight with the wedding party, and then Ben’s family was hosting a bigger event at the local oyster bar since many of their guests were arriving in this quirky, coastal town today. Since they’d reserved the entire roof deck for our party and open-air situations were always moremanageable for me, I figured I’d be fine. I just wouldn’t eat much.
“Would you rather we send Audrey?” I asked.
“No, the in-laws have it under control,” she said with a laugh. “I decided a long time ago it’s their thing and it wasn’t for me to worry about.”
“Also smart,” I said. “We’ll start upstairs and organize the bridal suite and then move into the reception area to work on table setup, but I’m kicking you out at four.”
She laughed. “I donotneed two hours to get ready.”
“Maybe not, but I’m still kicking you out.”
I heard Ben slam the truck’s rear gate before he opened my door. “We’re gonna do this nice and easy.” To Grace, he said, “Killer, you take the lead. Open the doors for me, tell me where to go, keep me from face-planting on the sidewalk, et cetera and so forth.”
“I’ll do my best,” she said with a laugh.
