She kept turning the pages. “I’m ending the pact. It’s over. It’s done. No pact, no reason you can’t go home with Hazlettetonight. And before you deny it, just don’t. You think I didn’t notice you two being profane over pinball? Please.”
“What brought this on?”
Meri shrugged away the question but I knew there was more to the story. With Meri, there was always more.
“Do you have any intention of telling me about the thing that wasn’t a thing from a few weeks ago? Or are we going to pretend that never happened?”
“I was hoping we’d ignore it. Your budding romance with Hazlette seemed like a fine diversion.” She slapped her hand to the page. “This is it. This is our song.”
I knew a change of subject when I saw one. “We have a song?”
“We do tonight.” She handed over the book and tapped the page. “Come on. We’re singing this.”
“‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’?” I shook my head. “You’ve got to be kidding.”
“What? No! It’s a great song. It’s cool and nostalgic. It’s retro.”
“This is a really strange way to get out of a conversation,” I said as she steered me onto the stage. “I don’t really sing!”
“That’s what makes it fun,” she said as the first chords started. “I’m on backup. This one’s all you, my love.”
The spotlight was blinding though I could still make out the circular table and group gathered there. Cami noticed us first, waving and calling out as I stationed myself in front of the microphone. Tori sat up on her knees and clapped her hands over her head, yelling something I couldn’t make out. Henry stared at me, his drink frozen halfway to his mouth.
I wasn’t lying about not being able to sing. I wasnotgood at this. But I had a stone-cold poker face and never backed down when it was time to play the part, so I sang like this song owed me money and I was coming to collect. I belted it out—badly—and the residents went totally nuts in the process. They were on their feet, singing along with every word. They couldn’t have known why Meri chose it, why she knew these lyrics would hit the bull’s-eye straight on, but they sang their hearts out just the same. When it was over, they rushed the stage, cheering like I was some kind of small-town hero.
Henry leaned in close, saying, “Thank god you’re so damn good at surgery because you are terrible at this.”
“I was told that made it more fun.”
“Whoever said that is lying to you,” he replied, and that was all the reminder I needed to keep Meri from sneaking away from me tonight.
I pulled her into the bathroom and propped my hands on my hips. “No more games. What’s going on with you?”
She leaned back against the sink and gestured to the door. “I’m not playing games. You’re not confined to our crazy single-girl deal and Hazlette isn’t your resident anymore, and it’s time for you to get out of here. I fully endorse whatever it is you choose to do to him in your free time.”
I stared at her for a long moment. I wasn’t ready to accept any of this at face value. “You’re not allowed to say all of this and be sad and lonely at home. You’re not allowed to cry alone, remember?”
“I do remember, even though I try to forget.”
“I need you to know that I will always choose you. There is no man who will ever come between us. We’re the ones who are going to grow old together, we’re the ones who will always be there when our families fall apart and guys disappear, we’re the ones who will pull the plug when the time comes. Always.”
A bit of her bravado crumbled as her shoulders sagged and she rubbed her eyes. “I know, but you have a guy now and?—”
“And if he doesn’t accept and eagerly embrace the fact that you are the best person in my life, then he isn’t who I thoughthe was. I don’t care whether we have a pact or not. Nothing happens in my life without you. I’m not going anywhere and you can’t make me.”
Meri pushed off the sink and flew into my arms, which stunned the hell out of me because the extent of her affection was usually a genuine smile. “He’s exactly who you think he is,” she said. “And I want you to go home and let that big barge of man wreck you so hard you have to sit on a pillow next week.”
“Only if you promise you won’t go home and cry alone.”
“No crying.” She stepped back, pushing her hands through her hair. “I think it’s time for this change. For both of us.”
“Maybe. But nothing will changeus. Deal?”
“Ugh, yes, fine. Let’s invent a new pact if we must.” She spun away from me and turned on the water. “Where did all these feelings come from? Goddamn. I thought I was supposed to outgrow this shit.”
“I think we tried that,” I said, scrolling back on all our years of escaping ourselves for a few weeks each summer. I handed over her phone. “I guess we have to deal with them now.”
Eighteen
