They bobbed their head as they edged around the curtain. “You’re right.”
I studied the monitor while Shoshanna, one of the best nurses on the floor, checked Brie’s lines. She had the longest hair I’d ever seen on anyone and it was better maintained than anything in my life. To her, I said, “When she wakes up, will you let her know I was here? And I’ll be back when I’m finished?”
She hummed as she scanned another bag of fluids. “Of course.”
“Thanks. And thank you for taking care of her.”
“You don’t have to thank me for that, Dr. Aldritch.”
“Tough shit, because I just did.”
She glanced up. “I should’ve expected that.”
I patted Brie’s arm as my phone buzzed in my pocket. “Yeah. Probably.” I pulled it out, finding an avalanche of pages. “I have to head upstairs, but I—I might send a resident down to check in while I’m in the OR.”
“I promise I won’t put them to work unless you want me to,” she said.
I laughed. Henry would probably enjoy that. “I’ll leave that up to you.”
I made my way out of the Emergency Department and toward the elevators that would take me closest to my office. When the doors opened, I found Henry leaning against the wall, his arms folded and ankles crossed in front of him. He’d changed into scrubs and a fleece jacket.
He must’ve replaced the one he’d given to me.
I stepped inside and pressed the button for my floor. “Quite the timing you have, Dr. Hazlette.”
“I could say the same to you, Dr. Aldritch,” he said as the doors closed. “How’s your sister?”
I tucked myself against the opposite wall, mirroring his stance. “Bacterial infection severe enough to impress the attending, and unknown gastric bleeding. Hopefully she doesn’t need another bowel resection.”
He ran a gaze over me, a slow study that went everywhere at once. My chest was full of that scalding coffee again. “Then I’ll hang out downstairs while you have your hands full upstairs.”
The elevator climbed quickly and I decided that was the reason for the drop in my stomach. Not because him being here,stayinghere, meant something. Because I wasn’t ready for it to mean something. Even though I was suddenly becoming aware that this was so much more complicated than I’d ever imagined. This wasn’t a one-night stand come back to haunt me anymore. It wasn’t even a suffocating amount of sexual tension anymore.
It was more. Just…more.And I didn’t know whether I should run as far and fast as I could or if I should stay here too.
Fourteen
Henry
Transplant Surgery Rotation:
Day 5, Week 7
Whit was stillin the OR when it was time for Monday morning’s rounds. Dr. Salas took over and insisted on rearranging the order of the cases we rounded on for “geographical efficiency.” In other words, she wasn’t willing to walk any more than necessary and wanted easy access to break rooms and nurses’ stations to scavenge for snacks. I already knew this about Salas though Copeland and the rest of my cohort didn’t, and it was amusing to watch them scrambling to adapt.
Reza was tasked with holding her water that morning and he did it like a pro. I was proud of him.
I spent that week bouncing between Salas and Hirano, and then another week paddling the same boat to nowhere. I barely saw Whit at all. We talked at night a few times, but she was wiped out from juggling both her sister, who was recovering at home after a long stay, and her cases.
I was starved for more. Anything, any little bit I could get.
I wanted to go to her place and cook dinner while she decompressed from her day. I wanted to tell her about crazy rescues to get her mind off of everything. I wanted to rub her shoulders and hands after long surgeries and just fuckingbewith her because even when we were apart she was always with me. I wanted to take off all her clothes and spend the night reacquainting myself with her body.
And I wanted to know what it was like for her to exist somewhere other than my mind. She was the beginning and end of every damn thought I’d had for months and there were moments when I questioned whether I was on her mind at all.
But I’d agreed to this. I knew I couldn’t have any of the things I wanted, not yet.
And I was the one who’d promised we’d get through this. I was the one with all the faith, and here I was, falling the fuck apart two weeks later. I couldn’t even believe myself right now. Crumbling under the weight of—what?—the fact that I couldn’t have everything I wanted the precise second I wanted it? Who the hell was I with this bullshit? Never in my life had I ever let myself get turned inside out like this and I didn’t know how to function anymore.
