“I know you’re not trying to give him the trouser tingles, but I’d only stick with that if you want him to think you don’t have a life.”
“I have a life!”
“Trust me, I know,” she replied evenly. “Might as well make sure the best man knows too.”
I choked out a laugh as I returned my shoes to their spot in the closet. “I cannot see why that’s our goal.”
“I want you to let him think you have a lot going on—a lotas in fun and sexy things that have you hopping from one place to another on a Friday night. There’s a very good chance that he won’t read anything into you wearing your regular workday look, but if he sees you all dolled up and hears that you have other stops to make tonight, he’ll get the message that he’s not the only sausage on your plate.”
“My god, Meri. I didn’t need that visual. And he’s not on my plate.”
“Put your fine ass in some jeans,” she said. “Throw on a spiffy top with a hint of cleavage that says you’re effortlessly chic and definitely not trying too hard, which should be easy since that’s everything you own. Get your hair out of those French braids and go bold with the lip color. Got it?”
We talked for a few more minutes while I dug through my closet. I still didn’t know where she was going and why she wouldn’t just tell me what was up, but I trusted her to tell mewhen she was ready. I never had to worry about where I stood with her.
Once I was changed and my hair was loose around my shoulders, I left my room. Brie was still on the floor. She was watching a makeup tutorial while editing a slide deck.
“I’m going out for a bit,” I said, slipping earrings into place as I headed toward the door. “Meeting some people for drinks.”
“Okay, cool.” She paused the video. “I talked to Dad today.”
Everything inside me froze and flipped like I’d missed a step and now I was falling to my clumsy death. “I’m sorry. What?”
“He’s coming to Boston sometime before the end of the year,” she said. “I was thinking we should try to get together with him. Maybe meet up for dinner.”
Cold sweat ran down my back as my stomach churned. If I didn’t know better, I’d think it was a sudden wave of food poisoning. But I did, I knew better, and I knew this was how my body reacted to the idea of seeing my father.
I sucked in a few deep breaths before saying, “I don’t know that I care to do that.”
“You should at least try.”
This was always Brie’s position. That we shouldtry. That we only had one father in this life and we should put in the work to build a relationship with him. I didn’t see a reason to chase down a man who’d made clearover and overthat he had no interest in our existence only for him to prove to my face that he didn’t give a damn about us. Was there a good reason to incinerate my self-worth and mental health like that? I didn’t think so.
I headed for the door. “I’ll be back later.”
I stewedabout Brie and our father the entire ride to the Seaport neighborhood of Boston. She always did this. She always put me in impossible positions where I had to choose between tanking my relationship with her or harming myself, and then acted likeIwas the outrageous one for not putting a smile on my face and going along with it.
Maybe it would be different if we’d just now found our father after living all these years in the dark. But his identity had never been a mystery. There were no secrets, only choices. He’d chosen to exclude himself from our lives, first when I was born and then again when Brie came along. I couldn’t pretend that hadn’t happened.
My sister didn’t see it that way.
I didn’t want to spend the whole night feeling messy and lonely because I couldn’t even count on my sister to be on my side, but the weight of it all settled on my shoulders like a dark, sad cape. I knew I could shove it off and trudge on like everything was fine, like I always did, but I really wanted to climb into bed and watch something that would give me an excuse to cry.
Stepping out of the car at the beer garden, a thick wall of late summer humidity hit me hard. Even an hour past sunset, it was still warm. I made my way through the outside seating area and focused on looking for familiar faces, preferably Acevedo or Jenelle. They were both on the tall side, making them easy to locate in crowds. And neither of them was Henry Hazlette, the last person I needed to lock eyes with right now.
“You’re here!” Tori appeared beside me, a loaded tray in her hands. “Come on. We grabbed a few tables in the back. You just missed the peds crew. They bailed to go bowling.”
In the minute it took us to weave through the crowd, I mentally ran through all the ways to exit this situation without making it obvious that I couldn’t be anywhere near Henry. Meri was available to swoop in with an emergency, there were the fictionaldinner plans downtown, and in a pinch, I could always fake a call from the hospital. Or I could be a grown-ass adult and leave without explanation or apology when I was ready.
“We need to plan a day-trip to Salem for spooky season,” I heard Cami saying as we approached. “I really want a witch to read my cards and I know y’all would love it.”
She sat beside Jenelle, their backs turned to us. Ansari was on the end and Henry was on the other side of the table, staring down at his phone. He hadn’t noticed me yet, giving me one rare moment to study him without the overwhelming awareness that always came with his gaze. He’d changed into jeans and a t-shirt withHeavenly Lake Tahoescrawled across the faded front. As if I required the reminder.
Jenelle leaned her head against her upturned palm. “How does that work in your mind? The witch stuff and the science stuff? Because I don’t understand how anyone can practice medicine and believe in witches and card readings.”
“It’s no different than religion,” Cami replied.
“Well, it’s good you brought it up because I have a lot of questions about that too,” Jenelle said.
