Whitney
Are you feeling better?
Henry
Yeah. Last night was the worst of it. I’m just wiped out now. But thanks for sending me down to the clinic this morning. That helped.
Whitney
You should get some sleep now.
Henry
I’ll see you tomorrow.
Whitney
Okay.
I waited, wondering if he’d say anything else. After a minute or two, I set the phone down and buried my face in the collar of his jacket. It smelled like him and that brought the pain roaring to life all over again.
Twenty-Nine
Whitney
Rule Number Eight:
Stay out of the photos.
“So,”I said after the server delivered our wine, “this thing with Dr. Tran sounds pretty serious.”
Jenelle winced with her entire body.
“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” I rushed to say. “You are under no obligation to share anything with me. However, it is Friday night. Neither of us are on call. It’s been a disgustingly long week and we’ve both aired some painfully personal business. If there’s anyone who can empathize with you, it’s me.”
After a moment, she pushed her glasses up her nose and said, “I didn’t have serious relationships on the agenda until after my first fellowship year, but she’s a pain in the ass like that. And I knew she was trouble right from the start. Just the most infuriating, adorable, know-it-all trouble. God, I love her.” She picked up her glass but only stared at the wine. “She figured out that I’m @ThatHenriettaLacks.”
“How?” I knew Jenelle’s social media account and I knew it was as anonymous as possible. She was never on camera. If she spoke, she used voice modulators. The cases she discussed were thoroughly redacted, and never recent ones at that. “Don’t tell me she’s a hacker on the side.”
“Not a hacker, but her brain is faster than any machine.” Jenelle pulled out her phone and swiped to a video she’d posted last summer. “I made a mistake of mentioning that case in rounds at the beginning of Tori’s transplant rotation,” she said. “A few days later, she starts asking questions that all have details from other videos.Have I ever seen something like this? What would I do in a situation like that?At first, I tell myself it’s nothing. Has to be a coincidence, you know? But then she focuses in. Brings up more precise presentations, asks how I’d address issues of bias in diagnosing.”
I handed back her phone. “You must’ve loved that.”
“She spent a lot of time glaring at the back of my head in the OR.” A smile filled Jenelle’s face. “She started engaging with my posts. Asking questions, requesting follow-ups, fighting with idiots in the comments. I knew it was her from the profile pic, but her handle is @DrThuyToriTran so I couldn’t even delude myself. I realized she’d been following me foryears. Within a week or two, we were messaging constantly and then—then, it wasn’t just online. And here we are now.”
I dropped my head onto my hand with a sigh. “I love that.”
“Me too,” she admitted. “Even if she destroyed all of my nice, tidy plans.”
“They always do.”
She watched me as she sipped her wine. “Is this thing with Hazlette serious?”
It was my turn to cringe. Henry and I hadn’t crossed paths in the past two days save for some quick text messages the lastfew nights. He was recovering from his stomach bug and I was recovering from my—well, I was recovering from my life.
I didn’t like the way he’d called out my catastrophizing and I still had a lot of questions about how everything was a challenge to him, but I was embarrassed that I’d taken those things and thrown all my stress and hurt and fear back at him. I’d never wanted to send him away. If anything, I’d wanted him to hold me even tighter. That night, I’d needed it more than anything. I still needed it.
“Perhaps.” I hoped I could sneak by with that after prying into her personal life. “More importantly, let’s talk fellowships and figure out your next few years.”
