It was obvious to me that he was hurting now because I could count the times I’d heard from my brother in the past six months on one hand and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it. There were all these people in his orbit—agents, managers, coaches, trainers—and I was stuck on the sidelines. Same place I was with Parker.
And, if this morning was any indication, Sunny.
Technically, I didn’t know where the fuck I was with Sunny. I wasletting it happenandnot overthinking. Yeah. Sure. As if I was remotely capable of functioning that way.
But she’d seemed cozy with a guy who looked like a defensive tackle turned corporate titan. Really cozy. I wasn’t running a stopwatch or anything but she’d hung out with him for at least an hour this morning. If I hadn’t been pulled in fourteen different directions since the second I woke up, I would’ve invited myself over there for some of that infamous coffee and scoped out the situation for myself.
I would’ve done that and I would’ve died a little when confronted with the reality that Sunny was a twenty-eight year-old woman with a whole fuckton of options. It wasn’t like I didn’t already know that, but seeing it in living color was different from quietly reckoning with the fact there was a chunk of her life I knew nothing about and that chunk probably involved a lot of relationships. Maybe she was in relationships now.
It wasn’t as though I’d asked whether she was yelling at anyone else on the regular and I hadn’t made any request that she limit all that hollering to me. I didn’t even know how I’d go about that.
Hey, Sunny. What do you say we pick fights only with each other? And the semi-violent make-out sessions where I think about fucking you through a door? Let’s not do that with anyone else.
I glanced toward Naked for the hundredth time today. The lights were low and the place was packed. Even the patio was filled despite the drizzle and low rumble of thunder off in the distance.
I wanted to see her. I wanted to talk to her and touch her, and I didn’t care about the guy from earlier as long as he was gone and never, ever coming back. I wanted—god, I wanted so much. More than I deserved, more than I had any right asking for. Not simply because I had a long history of being horrible to her though that never stopped nagging at me. No, I couldn’t ask her for a damn thing when I was over here hanging on by threads. This disaster that was my current existence wasn’t fit for sharing with anyone.
So, that settled it. I wasn’t going over there. Wasn’t going to demand any answers when they didn’t belong to me. Wasn’t going to ask what she had planned after this event wrapped up. Wasn’t doing any of that.
Except—
“I need to talk to Parker for a minute,” I said to Zeus. “I’ll be back in”—I glanced at my watch—“in a bit.”
Zeus shrugged. “Whatever. We’ll be winding down starting in the next hour. You can leave if you want.” He motioned to the dining room. Good crowd but nowhere near capacity, and the deck was empty on account of the drizzle. Slow for a summer evening. “You know you don’t have to be here all day, every day, right?”
“You’re funny, Zeus,” I said as I moved toward the door. “You almost make me forget that we were raided by the FBI in May and that I’m plugging the holes in this place with the corks from Chef’s wine habit while Sandy’s on the run and Rabbit’s facing twenty years in federal prison.”
He scratched his chin. “Oh yeah. That.”
I cast one more glance around the restaurant. “Make good choices,” I said, pointing at him. “Text me if—if anything at all seems unusual to you.”
I didn’t wait for his response because I knew it would stress me the fuck out. This would be a quick visit to Naked. In, out, done. Just checking on Parker. Reminding him to communicate with his guardian slash brother slash roommate. Maybe I’d get a look at Sunny while I was there but I wasn’t going to hunt her down. I could live with that.
Much in the way I was living with theletting it happenandnot overthinkingthing. This was me, letting it happen.
The main door was propped open and the sounds of acoustic guitar spilled out. Once inside, I realized the entire café had been transformed to make room for a short stage dressed with a black backdrop and layered rugs under a stool. The overhead lights were dimmed and a spotlight shone on the stage. Every chair was occupied and many more people filled the sides and back of the café to watch the performance.
I wasn’t sure what I’d expected but this was so much more. It was transformative in a way that felt unfamiliar to me. Almost magical. I didn’t know why I admired this but I knew I did.
I glanced around to find my brother but found myself staring at Sunny. She leaned against the wall right beside the door, her arms crossed over her chest and that evil little smile curled around the corners of her lips. Just like she’d been there all along, waiting for me. Evilly.
She tipped her head to the corner. Mel was there, and she had Bethany backed up against a wall, kissing her like she was determined to swallow the girl’s tongue whole. I glanced to Sunny with wide eyes that saidI didn’t need to see that.
On a silent laugh, she tapped my arm and subtly pointed toward a cluster of tables. Parker was huddled around one of them with a few teenagers. Hale sat at another with Nyomi on his lap. Ranger and Phil Collins were nearby, and Agent Price too. He’d made himself right at home in this town. Meara’s husbands stood on either side of her behind the counter, watching the performance with their arms folded over their chests.
Everyone seemed…content. They were content to melt into the darkness and absorb the music with the people they chose.
I wanted to be content. I wanted to stop fixing things for five fucking minutes and stay anywhere long enough to let myself be content. Right now, it was the only thing in the world that mattered to me.
So I threw out everything and pulled Sunny in front of me, wrapping my arms around her waist, pulling her back to my chest, and tucking her head under my chin. Tonight she wore a skirt that resembled a funky old tablecloth and a Naked t-shirt gathered into a tight knot at the center of her back, leaving a wide strip of gorgeous midriff exposed.
As the performance wrapped up, I leaned down to whisper into her ear, “Why must you knot your clothes and hair at all times? How is this your approach to living? It doesn’t seem practical.”
“Why do you even like me?” she asked over her shoulder.
I loved it when her words had teeth. I didn’t have to be soft for her and that made me want to do exactly that all the more. “If I said it was your propensity for tying everything in knots, you wouldn’t believe me. But there is some truth to that.”
“No, seriously. Why are you here? Why are you bitching about my clothes and acting like you want to be near me when you obviously don’t. Or did you dislike me so hard that you’ve come all the way around from the other side and don’t know what to do with yourself now?”
