“Excuse me,” Sunny started, a hand held up, “but what do you think you’re doing?”
I turned toward the one place I thought I’d never have to visit again, the place I’d maneuvered myself out of once and for all. “I’m looking after your liabilities,” I said, forcing myself to keep my eyes fixed on Small Point Oyster Company and as far away from Sunny Du Jardin as possible. “Someone has to.”
chapterthree
Sunny
Today’s Special:
A Hash of Locally-Grown History
“That was interesting,”Muffy said as she wandered into the kitchen.
I leaned back against the front of the counter while Meara gathered an armful of vases filled with rosemary and daisies and started setting them on tables around the café. My dogs tucked themselves into a cozy corner near the windows where they hung out while I was working. Near enough to help me if I needed them but far enough away from the close quarters behind the counter. “I’m not sure I’d call it interesting when terms likeobnoxious toolandneedlessly aggressiveandexcessive penis waggingexist.”
“Excessive penis wagging implies the existence of an appropriate amount of penis wagging,” Bethany said as she rearranged the bottled juices and kombucha for the hundredth time.
“An inadequate amount too,” Meara added. “I can tell you from experience that the right amount of penis wagging can be difficult to land on but you’ll feel it when you’re there.”
“So much to unpack from so few words,” Bethany said.
“It’s one of my many gifts,” Meara replied.
“It might be difficult for us, but I bet we can agree he’s a strong personality without making it about his gentlemanly business,” Muffy called from behind the kitchen pass-through.
“With that big bossy bossman vibe? His business isn’t gentlemanly,” Meara said with a slow nod. She shifted to gaze out the long wall of windows facing Small Point Oyster Company. “That I can promise you.”
“He’s a jackass,” I said.
“This isn’t like you, Sunny,” Muffy said. “Breathe it out. Shake it off. Let it go. I’m going to need the sweet to my sour back if we’re opening the doors in eighty-one minutes.”
“He’s a jackass,” I sang as I curved my fingers into the shape of a heart and tap-danced across the café.
“Speaking of his ass,” Bethany said, “did you see those trousers? Or those tree-trunk thighs? Is his tailor an actual angel or what? How is everything so—” She gestured like she was squeezing two handfuls of Beckett’s backside. “Mmmm. Between the buns and the rolled-up shirtsleeves, I didn’t hear a word he said the entire time.”
“Since when do you even acknowledge the existence of men?” Muffy asked her. “What are you doing noticing bunsand tree trunks, madam?”
“I’m not attracted to men but I’m still aware of when they are attractive,” she replied. “Like how Meara thinks I’m hot and will tell me that my boobs look especially juicy sometimes but she doesn’t want to get me naked.”
“You are gorgeous,” Meara said to her.
“Thank you, lovebug,” Bethany said with a blushing grin.
Meara tossed her braids over her shoulders. “Anytime, baby.”
“Can we get back to the jackass at hand?” I asked. “Because I think he’s going to be a real problem.”
Bethany set to organizing the carrots and apples behind the juicing counter. “I don’t think so. Maybe it started off rocky but Beckett made everything right. He didn’t have to get a crew to fix the patio. You have to admit that was really nice of him.”
“Nice,” I started, seesawing my hands, “or aggressive, unnecessary penis wagging?”
“You girls need to work on keeping penis out of your mouths,” Muffy called. “Not an hour goes by that I don’t question my life choices with you three, I swear.”
“I’ve never had a penis anywhere near my mouth,” Bethany said, “and I intend to keep it that way.”
“Wow. I opened the door for that one,” Muffy said to herself. “I really am doing this to myself.”
“If you’re going to question your life choices,” Meara started, “you’ll need to go back to the moment you took a blowtorch to your bridges in New York’s fine dining world. A couple of girls who get mouthy about dick are not where your problems started. And I wouldn’t even call it a problem.”
