"Only if you're in there with me. I want the insider's take on things." Sebastian beckoned me. "Come here."
I closed the narrow distance between us with some graceless knee shuffling. When I settled on his lap, his arms loose around my waist, I continued, "I've never let anyone know me. Not all the way."
He gave a shake of his head. "Neither have I."
"It scares me to open up."
"It scares me to feel things. This week has been…not great."
I dropped my head to his shoulder. "I'm sorry."
"You got what you needed," he said, his hand skating up and down my back. "I can take a few days of misery if it means I get to wake up with you tomorrow morning."
"You get to do that." I pulled in a breath. "If you wanted," I started slowly, "we could head over to Hartshorn's. I'm told you have strongly positive feelings about college football."
"You don't want to go to that party," he said with a laugh.
"Actually, I do—sort of—want to stop by. For a bit." When Sebastian pressed his hand to my forehead and looked me over like I'd lost my senses, I added, "I can't do it all the time and food is always going to be rocky for me, but I kind of like these people. I don't hate it when I'm around them."
"You know I love you, right?"
"I do know that," I said. "I saw it today. I've seen it before, but I didn't recognize it until today. I had to belly-flop into it."
"Of course you did, you wicked little otter," he said.
"I love you too," I whispered against his neck.
"I know," he said. "I saw it the other night. And before that too. You've never hid it well."
"Shut up. I hide many things very well."
"Then you didn'twantto hide it," he said, his hands slipping under my shirt. "As much as I enjoy arguing with you in stairwells, do you think we could move this to a bedroom? Perhaps a couch?"
"I have to text Acevedo. Should I tell him we're coming to this pizza party?"
"I can't even think about that until after I hug you for a whole fucking hour."
I brushed my fingers through his hair. "Will there be any pizza left at that point?"
"We'll order more and have it delivered," he said. "We need to make sure there's something for you."
I folded my lips together as I blinked down at my phone.
Sara:Sebastian is with me. I've got him.
Epilogue
Sebastian
It was cold and rainy,the kind of weather I hated though it wasn't snow and I considered that a blessing. After all these years in Boston, I still hadn't figured out how to coexist with snow.
We took a car service to Hartshorn's house on the suburban fringe of the city. Car service because I didn't see how I could stop touching Sara long enough to drive without wrecking. I had a car that I rarely drove, parked in a garage I thought about only when it was time to renew the lease. It was one of the stranger, more expensive aspects of living in this city.
Shrouded in the darkness of the back seat with Sara tucked into my side, life wasn't too miserable. Even with the cold rain, I couldn't be miserable after playing a little game I liked to callwe'll take a quick nap.
There had been no napping. More like five minutes oflet me hold youfollowed byI'm going to write my name all over you inside and outand then thirty minutes of drowsing and debating whether we wanted to get up, get dressed, get over to Hartshorn's.
"We don't have to stay long," I said to her.
