"We're not doing this." I pushed to my feet and filed out of the row. "Nachos?" I asked, pointing to Magnolia. "Anything else?"
"Lin, sit down," Ash said.
"No, I need nachos," Magnolia wailed. "You can sit down once I have a snack. Oh, do you guys think you could get beers and let me be near them? I just want to smell beer. That will be enough."
Ash held out several bills. "Whatever they have on tap but you should know we like Jasper."
Magnolia nodded, her hands resting on her belly. "We do and we're genetically required to ask all kinds of nosy questions because you introduced her to us and—"
"Mom made that happen," I interrupted. It seemed like this was important to note. "She showed up at my place—"
"Oh, god," Ash murmured.
"And Jasper had just stepped out of the shower. So, Mom jumped to every possible conclusion—"
"Wait, are you not sleeping with her? Because that was definitely the vibe I picked up at the house last weekend." Magnolia shot Ash a meaningful glance. "Tell me I didn't imagine that."
My brother shrugged. "All I will say is I told you so."
"You're such a smug bastard," I said.
"Wait. What did you tell him?" Magnolia asked.
"The day Jasper arrived, and she had some difficulty getting into her aunt's house—"
"Ash thought she was a burglar," I added.
"We offered her some assistance," he continued, fully ignoring me. "And I told him to be nice to her."
"You said 'don't be an ass.'"
He bobbed his head. "I advised you to help her out and resist your natural tendency toward being an ass because—"
"Because you helped Zelda and now you're getting married," Magnolia sang. "Awwww. Oh fuck, I'm crying. Linden, dammit, this is all your fault."
"You should get those nachos," Ash said with a pointed glance at our sister.
As I waited in line at the concession stand, I snagged my phone to check on Jasper again. I didn't need to check on her. I knew she was fine, and seeing as she'd hung up the baking mitts, there was little threat of the house burning down.
I just wanted to talk to her.
Linden:Ash and Magnolia are pretty much obsessed with you.
Jasper:I find that hard to believe.
Linden:They'd rather spend the night with you than me for all the questions they're asking.
Jasper:…what do they want to know?
Linden:How you got to be so awesome.
Jasper:Very funny.
Linden:I'm serious. They're co-presidents of your fan club.
Jasper:Not sure what to say about that.
Linden:Say that for all the shitty things that have happened recently, there are people who think you're amazing.
