"Shall I go rip the Equal Rights Amendment Now sticker off your car? Or would you rather I wait until my husband gives me permission?" Magnolia asked. "What about the 'well-behaved women never make history' one? Should I grab that too?"
I took a sip of wine because I needed something to do with my mouth that wasn't laughing out loud. This family was hilarious. They were incredible. I didn't even know family could be like this. I didn't know people could belong to each other with so much love and humor and snark. I didn't know that was what family meant to some people.
I didn't know what I'd been missing.
Carlo blinked at his wife. "How many gummies have you had tonight?"
"Not nearly enough," Diana replied.
Rob blew out a breath and stared at Ash withcan you believe this?eyes. Ash gave him theI can't help you here, manshrug. Linden smirked at both of them as he rubbed my inner thigh.
"So, Thursday it is," Magnolia said. "Does that work for everyone?"
Linden turned to me, asking, "Are you good with me going to a game on Thursday night? I'll be back late. Probably ten or eleven."
There was another beat of silence, similar to the first but without the same gravity. This one was curious and the proof of that lived in the six pairs of eyes trained on Linden right now.
"This is blowing my mind," Ash said under his breath.
"Same," Magnolia said.
"Ignore them," Linden said with an impatient shake of his head.
"Go to the game," I said. "I'll be fine. You don't need to worry about me."
"Yes, I do," he mouthed.
The meal continued in much the same way—the triplets snapping back and forth with each other, Diana and Carlo peppering in wildly amusing and slightly odd commentary, food appearing on my plate even when I insisted I'd eaten more than enough—and I couldn't shake the sense this was how it was supposed to be. This was what I'd been missing, the place and the people and the connection I'd longed to find in my life, and now it was here, all around me, and I didn't trust myself with it.
I didn't know how to wrap my arms around all of this—the burly bear of a man, the family that didn't make sense but that was what made sense about them, this quiet corner of New England—without reminding myself I couldn't keep any of it.
17
Linden
I learnedthree things about Jasper tonight.
One—she didn't like being called beautiful. I wanted to understand but I didn't want her shutting down on me like she did in the woods this morning. I'd figure it out eventually.
Two—I'd always known she was capable of crushing people but I had no idea she could do it without them knowing they were being crushed. She crushed my entire family this evening and it was the greatest thing I'd ever witnessed.
Three—it shocked her every time I remembered boring little things like the wine she preferred. This was the second time I'd watched that reaction whip through her and I was certain it was one of shock. I didn't see how something as simple as grabbing the bottle she favored was worthy of shock but I wasn't to make an issue of it. Not yet.
And one last thing—I was a bit more attached than I cared to admit. Only a bit. Notveryattached, notreorganizing my life to fit Jasperattached. Not imagining a future. Nothing like that. No, I wasn't that attached.
I wasn't.
But I was beginning to think she'd crushed me too.
18
Jasper
I hada complicated relationship with my body.
Things were better now but I'd struggled to understand—and shield myself from—the ways people treated me as a result of this body.
When I was eight years old, I started attending church services with my extended family. They kept an eye on me when my mother couldn't so I was on my best behavior. Not a toe out of line, not even when the women who gathered to gossip over coffee and cookies pointed at me with their Styrofoam cups and called me "the beautiful one" with undisguised contempt woven into the words.
