"Then your mother and sister taught you—"
"No. Not that either." He held his arm over one side of the elevator door when it opened, gesturing for me to exit first. "The car should be here now."
He led the way, his hand steady on my back as we crossed the lobby and stepped outside into the wall of summer humidity. That left me cold yet sweating, an ever-pleasant combination. A spasm curled down my abdomen as he swung the SUV's door open and boosted me onto the bench seat. I went with a grunt that was graceless even for me.
Ash hopped in behind me, asking, "Could you dial down the air conditioning? Thanks, man. Appreciate it." He smoothed a hand over my hair and folded me in his arms. "What else can I do for you?" As if he knew I was about to shut down his offer, he added, "By that, I mean do me a favor and let me feel useful right now. Give me something to do for you, some way to help. If you don't, I'll invent my own solutions and god knows those will be some hot fucking messes."
A laugh worked its way up my chest. "There's one thing you can do."
* * *
Ash tippedhis beer bottle back, drinking deeply. He released a satisfied groan when he set it down empty on the floor. "Fuck, this is nice. Is it inappropriate for me to request we do this every month?"
I flicked some water in his direction and reached over the side of the deep soaking tub in his bathroom for another slice of pizza. "Not inappropriate. Just…unusual. I'm not accustomed to being open about certain things."
Ash studied me for a moment, his brows lifted as if he was waiting for me to elaborate. When I didn't, he said, "There's nothing you can't share with me. Nothing that would change anything for us."
This wasn't about the ups and downs of my hormones anymore. It was about all the things left unsaid, unexplained. The story of where I'd been, why I left, why I had to stay gone—and all the reasons I couldn't get my hands around what it meant for a man to care about me the way Ash did.
I devoured my slice while he watched me, his golden hair dark from running a wet hand through it, water glistening on his broad chest, his legs layered between mine.
On the surface, this seemed like the perfect time to unload it all. Just unpack every volume of the history I'd planned to ignore in this new rendition of my life and show him the half-sewn parachute too.
But this wasn't the night. It wasn't. The water was already cooling and the pizza was almost gone. It didn't make sense to start a story I'd have to pause for thedry off and dressprocess, not to mention theclean up the pizza and beer consumed in the bathroomprocess, and restarting a story after those breaks was like eating rice with a steak knife. Plus, we had to leave for his sister's wedding tomorrow. There was too much going on right now. Better times would come and when they did, I'd be able to explain everything.
"I know," I replied.
Ash stared at me for another minute and though it seemed like he wanted to push the issue, he eventually cut his gaze to the six-pack on the floor. "Do you want another?"
I nibbled my last bit of crust. "No, thanks, but I'm wondering if you'd conduct an experiment with me."
He settled his arms on the rim of the tub. "What's the experiment?"
I glanced at our legs under the water, his shaft full and thick against his belly. This was not an experiment in the sense I was curious about the outcome. I was well versed in reaching this outcome—alone. I'd never enlisted anyone else to help with this particular matter. Not at this point in the month. "The one where you relieve cramps with orgasms."
After a pause, he asked, "You're up for that?"
I nudged his knee with mine. "This is weird for me, remember? I wouldn't ask if I wasn't."
Ash pushed to his feet, sending a wave of water rushing to my end of the tub and a small downpour off his body. "Stay there," he ordered as he stepped out and secured a towel around his waist.
With one quick scoop, he gathered the pizza box and beer bottles and left the room. He returned a moment later, shaking out some fresh towels. "I'm ready to start this experiment whenever you are."
When I climbed out of the tub, he swaddled me in several towels which created more of a straitjacket-meets-burrito effect than he'd intended but it succeeded in drying me in record time.
There were no artfully choreographed moves when it came to us falling into bed and that was the best part. We simply crawled between the sheets, our skin still fresh from the bath water and our blood humming from the beer—and a bit of anticipation too. We settled back on the pillows, kissing and touching like we had all the time in the world with each other.
His hands coasted over my breasts, always glancing up at me for approval before rubbing, pinching, biting. My belly followed and he skimmed his palm over my skin in gentle, reverent strokes as he moved down and dipped between my legs. His shaft was heavy on my thigh and I knew it would feel incredible inside me, kind of like a premenstrual vagina massage. That needed to be a thing.
"You're too tender for me to put my weight on you," Ash said against my lips. "Could we try something different?"
In my head, that translated toI changed my mind and I don't want to fuck you tonight so we're going to watch reruns ofThe Officenow.
"Oh. Okay," I said. "If that's what you want."
"Good girl," he murmured, shifting himself—and the cock I'd enlisted for that vagina massage—off me. "Now roll toward the window for me."
This was awesome. Just…awesome. I needed to remind myself to never suggest sex studies ever again because I'd end up staring at a wall and have zero orgasms for my trouble.
