Shannon:Wait just a hot second, my friend. We offered him every guest room in the main house but he wanted the garage apartment. I personally argued with him about it and insisted I was uncomfortable with him staying up there because the insultation is nonexistent, it's damp and drafty, and it's filled with the most bizarre collection of hand-me-down furniture in the world. It's depressing but he didn't want to be anywhere else.
Tom:You need to demo that whole bathroom, like, immediately. The shower is unforgivable.
Shannon:So, you've seen the shower?
Tom:We like my place better.
Shannon:Fair. Totally fair.
Shannon:I take it things are okay? With you and Wes?
Tom:Yes. Things are going well.
Shannon:So, here's my hang-up, I'm not going to initiate a conversation about engaging in *adult activities* with the Halsted boys but I won't walk away if you initiate.
Tom:We're not doing this. Their breaking and entering antics are one thing, how they want their asses licked is another.
Shannon:Hmm. Yeah. I hadn't thought about that segment of *adult activities* though I am a tiny bit curious whether he's…you know…rowdy.
Tom:Rowdy as fuck.
Shannon:I knew it!
Tom:He broke one of my estate sale lamps.
Shannon:Wait…how? What the ever-loving hell is going on that you're breaking LAMPS during sex?
Tom:There was a struggle. A consensual struggle. He took out a lamp, a few picture frames, and a pot of succulents. Dented the shit out of my umbrella stand.
Shannon:Will has destroyed so many nice pairs of my tights in consensual struggles but he seems to find some pleasure in ordering new ones. That makes it into a self-perpetuating cycle.
Tom:Wes took me lamp shopping and convinced me that I needed a new rug and some art for the bedroom too.
Shannon:Are we still talking about home furnishings? Because that statement was on the edge.
Tom:I have all the confidence in the world that you'll figure it out.
Shannon:I'm really happy you're enjoying this moment.
Tom:Thank you. I'm happy you feel comfortable inquiring whether your brother-in-law is a wild animal in bed and living with the knowledge that yes, yes, he absolutely is.
Shannon:I listen to my sisters-in-law gushing about sex with my brothers and the injuries they sustain and the all-natural lube solutions they employ. I've learned to have these conversations at an arm's length.
Tom:I know you well enough to spot an opening to discuss dick size from a mile away and I'm not taking it. This side show is closed.
Shannon:Can't say I didn't try.
Tom:You're nothing if not a whole lot of try, honey.
Shannon:Oh, suck my dick.
Tom:Sorry, busy with your brother-in-law's.
Shannon:Okay, now the side show is closed.
15
Tom
