Abby handedme another stuffed animal, saying, "Give loves."
"Okay," I replied, rocking the plush kangaroo despite the other twenty animals on my lap. "Like this?"
She swatted my hand with a primal shriek. "Loves," she repeated.
I glanced over her head at Will. He was busy pacing the nursery, Annabelle nestled on his chest. "What does your little pterodactyl want from me?"
"She's asking you to love her animals," he replied, as if that was obvious.
Another shriek, another swat. "Give loves."
"I'm trying." I hugged the kangaroo tight. This child was militant as fuck. To Will, I asked, "How am I supposed to do this to her satisfaction?"
"If you don't know how to love a stuffed animal, you have more problems than I thought," he said.
"I mean, isn't that obvious?" Abby snatched the kangaroo away with a disgusted glare and scurried back to her toy box.
"It's becoming clearer," he murmured.
Yeah, there was no mistaking my many issues.
It'd been a week without Tom darkening my doorway. If nothing else, all that time spent watching the door forced me to work on my strength. What else was there to do but lift increasingly heavy objects while waiting for my only friend in the world to arrive? I was forced to rest too. I couldn't greet Tom with a yawn so I enforced a regular bedtime for myself. But I continued begging off dinners with the family. I didn't want to miss Tom if he arrived. That was my rationale. It wasn't about avoiding my family because they'd make well-intentioned but really fucking stressful comments about my recovery, career, and general well-being.
And also, the dogs and babies and people were a lot to deal with when I was very busy lifting weights and watching windows. A whole fucking lot.
So, I'd continued skipping dinner. As they had since I'd settled in the garage apartment, someone walked plates of food up to me each evening and they lingered for a bit, but I hadn't been in the mood to talk. I didn't have anything to say. I preferred it when Shannon came up. She didn't fuss over me. She'd set the dishes in the kitchen and then flop down on the sofa. Within seconds, she'd be asleep, and she stayed that way for exactly twenty minutes. I'd timed it.
Will was a far more complicated visitor. He asked every question in the known universe, scrolled through the television channels with a comment about everything he saw, and stared out the windows while providing an excess of information about his neighbors and their charming suburban lives.
Isolation worked well for me. It wasn't that bad. I could manage the mounting confusion over my next career move. I could handle the nails-on-a-chalkboard pain in my arm. The loneliness was the only piece to make me question my choices. Why did Tom leave? And why hadn't he come back to me?
Abby returned, a small blanket in tow. She draped it over my shoulders like a cape and then launched herself at my back, her arms coiled around my neck. "Loves," she cried, pounding my spine with her tiny feet. Every time she connected with the wound on my flank, bile warned in my throat.
"Oof. Love isn't supposed to hurt, baby koala," I said, prying her off my back. I gathered her in my arms and held her still for a moment. That was all she'd allow before twisting away and resuming her play.
"Just like Shannon. Her elbows are like swords," Will said, still pacing. "She nailed me in the face a few months ago and gave me a bloody nose."
"The wife? Or the one-year-old?"
"Abby. The wife wouldn't intentionally draw blood," he said, laughing. "You'd be so much happier if you'd burp."
I blinked up at him. "Are you…talking to me?"
Will shook his head as he started another circuit around the nursery. "Your problems are much bigger than this little girl's digestion."
Abby marched over, collected two of her animals from me, and deposited them in her toy box. She continued until I'd been relieved of all creatures but then she started the process all over, again shrieking at me to show them affection.
"I'm trying," I pleaded. "Show me, Abby. Show me how." She grabbed the bunny out of my hands and lashed both arms around its body, rocking and cooing and strangling the shit out of it. I picked up a hot pink teddy bear and held it the same way. "Okay. See? I can do that."
She shrieked again and stole the bear from me. These girls looked like my brother but there was no mistaking the Shannon in them.
"Why did you call me up here?" I asked Will.
He glanced at me as he carried Annabelle to the changing table. "Zone defense."
"If I'm supposed to be watching your six, I can't say I'm succeeding." I sat the remaining animals in a row beside me. "Then again, it's not like I'm succeeding at much these days."
"You know how the CIA works. It's always a game of hurry up and wait with them," he said. "Give it time to blow over while they cover their asses."
