She steepled her fingers together. "Did you hear that? How you just went all possessive mama bear on a woman he hasn't touched since before you moved home? Because I did and I think it's time for me to rest my casual-sex case."
"I hear what you're saying and I know it sounds like I'm in this real deep, but he wants to keep it low-key," I argued. "He's working on expanding his business and he's doing all these things to help Nate and he's got too much going on for a serious relationship. He was there for me in a pinch, but that doesn't mean he wants to sign up for anything else."
Annette leaned in, whispered, "You, my darling, are full of shit. You are assigning opinions and attitudes to JJ that he probably doesn't possess and you are deciding how things are going to go down without asking what he wants." She stabbed a finger in my direction. "Have you even asked him?"
"I know you're trying to kick me in the ass the way I kicked you, but I'm not planning on staying here that long. I'm not having a heartfelt conversation with JJ about his wants and desires when I know damn well I won't be the one fulfilling them."
"That's news to me," Annette chirped. "What's your endgame? Are you moving your father to an assisted living facility? Are you leaving him in Maine or taking him with you to New York? What's the plan, Brooke?"
"I don't know," I replied. "I don't know, but I can't stay here forever. This isn't home for me anymore and I can't go inventing relationships where none exist because it's where I am right now."
"You'll have to forgive me," she said, tapping her index finger against her lips. "I didn't realize the relationship I thought I had with my maid of honor was a figment of my imagination."
"That's not what I meant," I said. "You know that, Annette."
"What do I know?" she asked. "In the past few minutes, you've announced you have no intention of staying in town and you have no real relationships."
"You are my other half. You're my soul sister. We don't have arelationship, no. We're way past that and you know it."
"Maybe I do know it." She lifted her shoulders. "Maybe I want you to be as honest with JJ as you are with me."
"I don't know about that," I said. "Sisters and misters exist on different planes. But I swear to you, Annette, I am going to rock the shit out of my maid of honor duties. Whatever it takes, I'm here for it. Bridal showers, bachelorette parties, dress fittings, cake tastings, seating charts—you name it, I'm there. I'm holding your dress while you pee."
"It's really convenient how you can commit to events that won't take place for twelve to eighteen months, but you won't commit to anything with JJ. Super convenient."
"Oh my god, Annette. Can we talk about sex now? Please. There are so many things I want to tell you. Is Jackson licking your ass? If not, go home and ask for that, pronto. You can thank me later."
"And here are the local creamery cheeses," the server announced.
"Right on time," Annette murmured.
Once we were alone with the cheese, I gestured toward her with a chunk of bread, saying, "His dick is unfortunately large."
She stared at the table, shaking her head. "I know I'm going to regret asking but…what's the threshold between fortunately and unfortunately large?"
"I haven't studied that in exact terms," I admitted. "I just know I've crossed it because there are times when I'm certain he's rearranging my intestines."
"That's really great for you. Not so much for your digestion, but it sounds like a good problem to have."
"Yeah," I said around a bite of cheese. "I mean, I've left his place feeling like I need to hold my vagina together because I'm sure he's hammered some dents into it and I don't want to risk it falling out."
Annette brought her fingers to her temples. "Oh my god, Brooke.Oh my god."
"See," I replied. "You know what I mean."
She tipped back her glass, gulping the sangria. "I might, but I'm not going there with you."
"If I had sex with him every day," I continued, "I'd need a strict program of warm baths, physical therapy to keep that shit tight, and voodoo. And lube."
"It sounds like you have your priorities in order. That should be helpful going forward."
"Well, we're not going forward." I speared my knife into the goat cheese. "I'm riding out a phase."
"I see what you did there and it is hilarious," Annette replied lightly. "Riding out a phase. Nice."
"In all seriousness, how do you have sex every night and keep your vag from falling out? Wait, is Jackson's penis unfortunately small?"
Annette held up a finger. "First of all, it's more than enough."
