Brooke:Isn't she a teacher in some Grimms’ fairy tale land?
Annette:By that, I assume you mean western Massachusetts.
Brooke:Same thing.
Annette:Right, well, Rachel who teaches middle school out in western Massachusetts is visiting next weekend and this is the first time I've spent more than a Thanksgiving meal with her.
Brooke:…and you're freaking out about what?
Annette:The list is extensive.
Brooke:Start with the most absurd shit.
Annette:She doesn't like sweets and 90% of my life is baking with tons of sugar and I don't understand how anyone could exist without pie and cookies and cake and lemon squares.
Brooke:Proportionally speaking, your life is not 90% baking. You run a small business, babe. Baking is your passion project, your stress relief, your hand work.
Annette:I don't really care about the math.
Brooke:Of course. But, real talk, she's not going to ooh and ahh all over your sticky buns and that's okay. People like you for reasons entirely separate from the treats you shove in their mouths.
Annette:I don't shove anything in anyone's mouth.
Brooke:Oh, right. I forgot it's the other way around with you.
Annette:Shut up.
Brooke:Back to the freak out of the day. What's the next most absurd thing?
Annette:I feel like the house is a weird mix of 1990s-meets-vintage-thrift. I know that's the least of her concerns and she's not coming here to evaluate the style of the place we're renting while our house is being built, but I've never had guests in our home before and I want it to be nice.
Brooke:Would you like to move into the carriage house over here? It hasn't been updated since before my mother died, but you can play house there all you want.
Annette:Jackson would never go for that.
Brooke:It's funny how Jackson is the reason it won't work and not your own lunacy.
Annette:(eye roll emoji)
Brooke:What else is bothering you?
Annette:I just want her to like me.
Brooke:She absolutely will.
Annette:Sisters never like me.
Brooke:Your sisters are the heavyweight champions of cunt. They do not count as evidence.
Brooke:Rachel will adore you. She'll get a tattoo that reads "I'm With Annie" before the weekend is over but if you think for one second that this chick is replacing me as your bloodless sister, I will wage war.
Annette:I would never go to war with you.
Brooke:Because I know all of your weak spots?
Annette:Because we know each other's weak spots, but we'd never use them.
Brooke:No. We wouldn't.
