Patrick pointed at him. "That is solid advice."
Sara replied with a curt headshake. "I don't mind decomposition in flora or fauna." She glanced to the side, humming a bit. "Or humans."
"High-test," Ben said through a cough.
"Yeah, give me your number," Andy insisted. Her thumbs flew over her phone's touchscreen as Sara rattled off the digits. "Since we have you here, can you clear something up for us?"
"Does it pertain to human or plant decomposition?" she asked.
Andy barreled forward, undaunted by the straight-up ickiness of Sara's response. "Neither." Pointing to Ben, she continued. "Did this gentleman behave appropriately in your company?"
Sara's gaze swung between Andy and Ben. "Excuse me?"
"Did he invite you out and then ditch you?" Patrick asked.
Frowning, Sara studied Ben for a beat. "Oh, no. No. He asked if I wanted to meet his neighbor. I'm not sure which one of you that is but I wasn't sure about compounding the layers of newness here. I think that's why I bought all these donuts. Coping mechanism." She crouched down, close to Ben. "Here. Take the top box. I'm going to bring the other one to work."
Ben collected the box, saying, "You heard the lady."
"Yeah, so," Sara started, glancing around the table, "I should go."
"Get rid of that spaghetti squash," Rob said.
As Sara darted away, Andy called, "I'll text you about the farmers' market."
"What's the big deal about farmers' markets?" Ben asked.
Patrick pried open the new box. "Don't ask."
"Yes, ask," Andy argued. "Don't listen to him. I have thoughts on the best markets in and around the city."
As Andy launched into her dissertation on the region's agricultural output and corresponding farm-to-table retail model, I curled in on myself. It was easier that way, quieter. And I needed to step back from this reality to hear my thoughts. How else could I kick around the notion of dating both Rob and Ben?
It didn't seem real and I couldn't determine whether I wanted it to be real. Whether I wanted Rob to backtrack or soft-pedal his suggestion. It was less risky than to imagine myself as the woman in a relationship with two men.
But it wasn't the men making this risky. It was the illusion of abundance. I'd spent the entire winter wandering through the Death Valley of Dating and I knewthatwas my reality. This—Rob and Ben and all of it—was a mirage. An optical illusion. A set of atmospheric conditions refracting my greatest wants and needs through heated air.
I knew this was an illusion, but that didn't stop me.
"If we do this," I started, glancing at Ben and Rob, "we're going to be civil. This animosity was cute for a hot second and now I'm over it."
"I can be civil," Rob replied.
"I'll tattoo 'civil' anywhere you want it," Ben added.
"If we do this," I continued, "we're going to stop running into each other like this."
Rob folded his arms on the table, laughing. "I live in the new building around the corner," he said, pointing toward the street. "And I've told you I like this place."
"Best donuts in Boston, a million years running," Ben said. "Where the fuck else would I take the new chick in town?"
I wagged my iced coffee cup at them. "Whatever. I don't care how it happened, we're going to make sure it doesn't happen again. No more group dates."
Andy raised her hand. "Does that include me? Because I'd love to just observe this social experiment."
"Same," Patrick added.
I rolled my eyes, setting aside her question for a time when I didn't have Ben and Rob staring me down. "No gaming the system. Don't look for loopholes. Be legit or be gone." Ben started to speak but I stopped him, adding, "Unless it's civil, don't say it."
