Magnolia: Sure.
Magnolia: Protip: keep talking about your dick. It's good to be proud of something.
Dating App Guy 8: What did I say about making me like you?
Magnolia: I believe it is not advised.
Dating App Guy 8: It's not.
Dating App Guy 8: Keep doing it.
Chapter Eight
My date had a food baby.
"I could be four, maybe five months pregnant."
I glanced at the nonexistent bump with a shrug, then turned my attention back to my phone. Mr. Nine Inches had been messaging me for two weeks now. This morning he mentioned his niece's upcomingMoana-themed birthday party. It was cute, and I did smile and sigh when he said she'd strong-armed him into dressing up as Maui.
But believe me, I knew what he was doing. Bring up the kid, talk about princess movies, prove you're a big cock with a heart of gold.
It was like he was writing the Playbook for Irresistible Men.
Magnolia: Sounds like a good time.
Mr. Nine: It will be. My sister goes all out on these things.
Mr. Nine: Before you congratulate me on being a fully acceptable uncle, can we talk about something less…PG?
Mr. Nine: I mean, we haven't talked about my cock in at least 4 hours.
Magnolia: Your cock requires a lot of attention, my dude. Super high-maintenance.
Mr. Nine: It would like to fill more than your attention.
Magnolia: That one was not your best work.
Mr. Nine: Don't worry. I'm a constant learner. Always improving.
Magnolia: Good for you!
Mr. Nine: I've never been so aware of sarcasm as I am right now.
Mr. Nine: We still haven't exchanged more than handles.
Magnolia: Are we talking about your dick again? AGAIN?
Mr. Nine: I meant screen names.
Mr. Nine: Perv.
Magnolia: Right. I'm the one preoccupied with your dick. Sure. Okay.
Mr. Nine: I'm just wondering whether that's an indication you're not into this.
He wasright about the handles. We hadn't shared more than the goofy little identifiers associated with our online profiles. I was MizMaggie19 and he was RRRooster441. And I was into this. I wanted to continue talking to him despite the mismatch in our objectives.
Magnolia: Don't think that.
