And I didn't mind having an infant for a roommate. Especially since I got to introduce him to the world of superheroes and villains while Sam caught up on designs and Tiel worked in her studio on Saturday mornings. She was a classically trained musician, but didn't get much time with her instrumentsthesedays.
Over dinner last night, she'd mentioned being anxious about teaching second graders how to play the violin when school started up in a few weeks, as she'd barely practiced since Dave's arrival. Tiel's lack of rehearsal time was only one of her worries. She and Sam still hadn't found a nanny or daycare solution for Dave, not one that met their many requirements. Since they weren't willing to settle and their careers offered some degree of flexibility, they were patching together a schedule that allowed one of them to be with Dave at all times. Sam was convinced it would work and was already building a small crib for his office. Tiel wasn't asconfident.
Dave caught his feet in his chubby fingers and cried out in celebration. His face and fingers were shiny with baby slobber but he was too pleased with himselftocare.
"Nice job, Simba," I said, shaking the dog-shaped rattle he enjoyedsomuch.
"He's obsessed with his toes," Tiel murmured from the doorway. "How's he been?Fussymuch?"
"No, he's been a cool kid," I said, shaking my head. "We've just been watchingTransformersand chewing ourhands."
"We have tasty hands, don't we?" she asked, kneeling beside him on the other side of the mat. "And how's Uncle Riley?Fussymuch?"
I paused the film and stretched my legs out in front of me. "No more than usual," I replied. "I have plans tonight, though. I won't be here fordinner."
She glanced at me while running her finger down the baby's cheek. "Ohh,plans,"shesaid.
"It's nothing," I said, laughing. "Just a cocktail party with afriend."
"A cocktail party," she repeated, sending a purposeful glance at the freshly pressed suit and dress shirt hanging from my closet door. She didn't try to conceal her smug smile. "You're wearing a suit for a friend." She said that as if it explained the secrets of the universe. "Who is thisfriend?"
Dave pitched the rattle across the mat, and I handed it back to him. "No one you know," I said, and her smile fell into a confusedscowl.
"This friend isn't Magnolia?" she asked. "What do you mean? I was over here with my Team Gigi shirt all ready to go. I was going to arm wrestle Patrick until he declared his love of roof gardens and force Sam to play nice with some dinner parties and double dates." She held up her hands and let them fall into her lap, as if I'd dashed all of her hopes. Every last one of them. "Are you sure it'snotGigi?"
"Positive," I said, laughing. When it came to her people, Tiel was fierce. I loved that about her. "But thanks for being ready to go to batforme."
"I don't know what I'm going to do with that Team Gigi shirt," she said. "I might wear it anyway, just to get Sam fired up." She tapped her chin as she considered this. "If not Gigi, who's gotten you into a suit on aSaturday?"
I hated misleading Tiel. Not only because she deserved better but because she could see right through me. It wasn't the cover story I was worried about her seeing. It was the fucked-up state of my head. Lauren continued to monopolize that territory, but now Alex was fighting her wayin,too.
An Alex-and-Lauren mashup would've been sensational, but my brain couldn't do us all a favor and take the easy route into girl-on-girl. Instead, I'd emerge from another torturous Lauren dream and—on top of all the issues I already had—I couldn't shake the feeling that I was now deceiving Alex, too. Sure, we were pretend-dating and this arrangement had a clear termination date, but it feltwrong.
Or I'd text with Alex about balls or liquor or something inconsequential like that, and I'd walk away in awe because she managed to be sexy while spitting nails. Talking with her felt easy, which probably had something to do with us both sailing the high seas of shambles. She was pretty, too. It was the kind of pretty that was subtle and slow to sneak up on you, but when it did, itstruckhard.
Every time I'd think about Alex's lips or wonder whether she was as aggressive in bed as she was everywhere else, I was reminded that IlovedLauren. It wasn't an outcropping of overdue mommy issues or a childish crush. It was one-sided and ill-fated and the most emotionally disastrous thing I'd ever experienced, but itwasreal.
In a weird, not-entirely-grounded-in-reality way, my growing attraction to Alex was a betrayal to Lauren. Those morning erections were now made of shame and guiltanda bone-shaking quantity of lust for two completely differentwomen.
"Her name is Alex, and we're just hanging out," I said. That much was accurate. No cloudy half-truths to be seen. "Just friends.That'sit."
Not as accurate. Not when I'd dreamed of my hand on her throat and my cock in her mouth lastnight.
"Did this start while we were away on vacation?" Tielasked.
She watched as Dave worked hard at rolling onto his belly. He'd only succeeded twice, and that seemed to infuriate him. This boy wanted to roll and creep and explore, and he wasn't stopping until he could. Her hand hovered an inch from the baby's back while he struggled to complete the turn. He'd made it to his side, but wasn't happy about having his arm trappedunderhim.
"Or did you have a summer romance that I completely missed because I've been busy being amilkmaid?"
"You didn't miss anything," I said with a shrug. If I kept it low-key now, it wouldn't be a big deal when things ended. "I met her at Nick and Erin's place a couple of weeks ago. She works with Nick. She's asurgeon."
"That's handy," Tielreplied.
"Yeah," I said. "She was there for dinner. Actually, I crashed their get-together." I scratched my chin. "Do you think I need to apologize for that? Or go mow their lawn, orsomething?"
"I'm sure it was fine." Tiel turned back to Dave. "You did it! Look at you, my amazing little man!" she cried, clapping her hands as he landed on hisbelly.
He held his head up and offered a slobbery grin to acknowledge his accomplishment. He burped loudly—it was shocking how much noise that small body could produce—and Tiel patted his back. She cut a glance across the mat and motioned for me tocontinue.
