Take everything I have, every ounce of me, and make it rightwithher.
But the absolution, it never came. I still didn't know what to do, where to start, how to find thewords.
"Are we all set?" Patrickasked.
I blinked up at him, and then startled when I found Andy seated tohisleft.
"Is this still a good time?" he asked. He was tucked into one of the chairs in front of my desk, his laptop open on his knees and his tie loose. "Iseverythingokay?"
"Yeah," I said. "You start. I'lljumpin."
I reached for my notebook, the one that was filled with drawings of Gastro Girl. There was nowhere I could go without Alex right beside me. Flipping through the pages, I gazed at the sketches of her crime-fighting alter ego. The earliest attempts were disaggregated bits of the woman I'd thought she was, a shallow rendering of her features and carriage. But the more recent ones, they gazed straight into her soul. As always, there was the razor-sharp wit and snappy exterior, but there was also the softness, the sweetness. Thevulnerability.Love.
And those images left me flattened on the floor of despair, gazing up at the sky and the clouds with neither methods nor means to climb my way out. It was like The Pit, the ancient prison from which Bruce Wayne escaped. But the harsh reality was that I was no Batman, no Dark Knight. I wasn't the hero Gotham—or Gastro Girl—deserved.
"No," I whispered. "Not all set.Notokay."
Patrick and Andy exchanged aglance.
"What's wrong?" she asked as she tucked herdesignsaway.
At the same time, Patrick said, "I know that look. Yeah, I know all aboutthatlook."
"What are you talking about?" Andy asked, shifting tofacehim.
"When was the last time you spoke to Alex?" Patrick pointed at me. "The last time you saw herandshe wasn't avoiding you like cracks in thesidewalk?"
Andy turned back to me. "This is about Alex?" She shook her head and waved off the question. "You didn't say anything, and everyone's been in snarly moods because of Wellesley so I figured that was it. I'm sorry, I had no idea." She edged her chair closer and folded her arms on the corner of my desk. "What's going on? Whathappened?"
Patrick flipped open the buttons at his throat and yanked the tie from his collar. "How long?" he repeated. "This is important. Timing matters. There's a critical window, and if you've missed it, you're shit outofluck."
I dropped my head to my hands. "Last Thursday," I mumbled. "After we leftWellesley."
"And she doesn't want to hear from you?" Andy asked. I shook my head. "Whathappened?"
I shrugged. "I…I fucked things up. I don't know how to fix any of it but I need her. Ineedherback."
"Okay, butwhatdid you fuck up?" Andyasked.
Patrick snapped his laptop shut. "Irrelevant," he said to her. "Unless he's also dating her mother or running an underground toddler fight club or something reprehensible, whatever's fucked up just needs fixing. Let's talk containment and clean up. Have you contacted her since lastThursday?"
"A few texts," I said, jerking a shoulder. "She didn'trespond."
"That's inadequate and eight days is too fucking long to let this linger. She's going to have a profile on eHarmony or Bumble by now, and résumés out to every hospital west of the Mississippi," he replied, shooting a pointed look at Andy. I didn't want to know what that shit was about. "You need to mount a full-scale attack. Use every weapon in the arsenal. Lucky for you, I've got a multistep planready."
I glanced up, not certain I'd heard him correctly. The only advice Patrick ever doled out was of theGet your shit togethervariety. "What?"
"I'm going to step out," Andy said, gathering herthings.
"We'll reschedule this meeting," Patrick said. "Again."
"Am I that bad off?" I asked when the door whispered shut behind her. "That we have to cancel meetings? You never cancel meetings. You love meetings and agendasandshit."
"No, you're not that bad off," Patrick scoffed, shaking his head. "We've all beenthere."
Sam and Matt barreled into my office, Sam holding baby Dave and Matt chomping on anapple.
"What's going on?" Sam asked, pacing and rocking while he spoke. "Andy sent us in. Said you neededsomehelp."
