Nick:Where do single guys go in this city on Valentine's Day?
Riley:Dude, you're not even a little bit single
Nick:Shut up. You know what I mean
Riley:So it hasn't been a great week for you guys
Nick:She's back at Oxford now, which basically means she's in seminars for 12 hours a day and then tied up with discussion groups or some other bullshit events at night
Nick:I trust her but I still imagine her at some British pub with a bunch of science guys trying to get a piece of her
Nick:It's not even sexual. I just know she doesn't like being around a ton of people, especially not after being with them all day, and putting up with pub talk is going to drive her crazy
Riley:Yeah, it's the kind of place that has oxblood leather sofas and low ceilings and fireplaces built from Stonehenge's scraps
Nick:Thanks for the imagery
Riley:And elbow patches. The guys definitely have elbow patches. Maybe tweed caps, too. And they drink porter ales.
Nick:This is off the fucking rails now
Riley:How long has it been since you've seen her?
Nick:Sam and Tiel's wedding
Riley:What's with you guys and weddings?
Riley:When I get married, there will be a strict No Shenanigans policy
Riley:On the invitations it will say "no hookups allowed"
Riley:There's going to be a big sign at the reception, too. "No Shenanies"
Nick:And when will that blessed event be occurring?
Riley:Nevermind those details.
Riley:Why don't you just fly to England if you want to see her?
Nick:I can't. She doesn't have any free time while she's at Oxford and I'm in the operating room all week before I take off for Kenya. It sucks but there's nothing either of us can do about it.
Riley:Wait a minute. I thought you were going to Ghana.
Nick:Initially it was Ghana, but DWB closed up shop there. Now it's Kenya.
Riley:Are you going to see her when you're overseas?
Nick:Fuck. No.
Nick:We've tried to make it work but it doesn't. She's presenting at an international climate change summit in Buenos Aires when my time in Kenya ends. Immediately after that, she's on a research expedition in Greenland.
Riley:Would it be insufficient to say "adulting is hard"?
Nick:There's just no way, and it fucking sucks. This has to get easier at some point
Riley:You sound like you're on the verge of a nervous breakdown
Nick:First of all, that's an antiquated term. Don't say that.
