Date: June 3
Subject: Stop talking around it
No apologies necessary.
Can we keep it that way? Can we stay entertaining husband and delicious wife, and then find a way to get time on our side?
Nick
*You're plenty qualified for me.
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To: Nick Acevedo
From: Erin Walsh
Date: June 4
Subject: I hate moving
You're saying that like being married is an experiment.
I had lunch with my babysitter today. You know, Lauren's brother, Wes. He works for an agency that I probably shouldn't disclose over email. We're both fans of the pizza here in Sorrento (it is NOT the same in all parts of Italy), and he informed me that the apartment I've been renting for the past few years is owned by an old-school mafia outfit. Some realcosa nostrashit. Who knew? He said it's a good thing I'm moving.
Speaking of moving, I need to complain for a minute. Here it comes: I fucking HATE moving. I'm not sure if you're a Harry Potter fan (if you're not, you need to either lie or divorce me right now because I can't be married to someone who isn't down with the lifestyle) but I need a goddamn portkey like you wouldn't believe. I don't even have that much stuff, just books, rocks, little things I've picked up in my travels. I guess do have a bunch of Moroccan pottery. Anyway, I don't enjoy consolidating it and relocating it. I stood in my apartment this morning and sincerely wished I could wave a wand to send everything into boxes and trunks.
* * *
To: Erin Walsh
From: Nick Acevedo
Date: June 4
Subject: I hate moving
So it's an experiment. You're there, I'm here, and that's not changing. Let's see how long we can do this.
I'm a kid doctor. I speak enough Hogwarts to get by.
Also—what? You rent from the mob? Who the hell are you, Erin Walsh?
* * *
To: Nick Acevedo
From: Erin Walsh
Date: June 5
Subject: Low bar…
You're fucking with all my scholarly sensibilities, dude. All of them. Let's set aside the fact that this research proposal of yours is wholly subjective and not data-dependent. At the very minimum, it's not a meaningful experiment without a control group.
It sounds like you've seen the movies but haven't read the books. Weak.
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